Tribe.net. Local Connections VickZ http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#871c6613-cb59-46bf-8666-5dac8bcb913e 2009-03-26T19:20:49Z 2009-03-26T19:20:49Z

yeah, i've got that shy thing too. sometimes i avoid people to protect myself as well, so people don't know when i'm doing the avoid thing or just being shy. it pains me knowing it's difficult for people to tell, worst is when someone just like me who is shy thinks i'm avoiding them when i'm being shy too and not avoiding at all. i'd like to find a way to be more naturally extroverted as well.

VickZ 2009-03-26T19:20:49Z Michelle http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#62cd164a-706e-4083-9df8-91ea0e020f0e 2009-03-26T03:11:59Z 2009-03-26T03:11:59Z

Cherry, the public speaking in 12 grade sounded really rough and good on you for at least showing up. I know people see it is good to push our boundaries but I think sometimes it is first better to honor our strengths and feel empowered before attempting to jump out on the edge.

Michelle 2009-03-26T03:11:59Z Cherry http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#0be7d2b6-aa50-4849-8184-4b5bfebc062b 2009-03-26T00:59:20Z 2009-03-26T00:59:20Z

I have always felt different. In high sch, I had a few friends, only one of them I would consider close. I never really fitted in anywhere really. I felt different from other people, maybe because they had more outgoing personalities, I don't know. It's just a feeling I've always had. If I was ever with a group of people, I was always the quiet one and it wasn't that I had nothing to say. Most of the time I had lots of things to say, but my shyness kept me back from expressing myself. I'm older now and still incredibly shy, still feel different, still do not feel like I fit in anywhere. A lot of times my personality gets misinterpreted, like pple would think I'm being rude, ignoring them, don't like them or don't want to talk to them, when in fact I'm just shy. I've threw away many opportunites for myself because I always feel things wouldn't work out because of the way I am. I don't mind being different and I don't mind being an introvert, but I would like to be better in social situations. I usually avoid them anyway, but I know in the working world I will find myself in those situations so now is the time for me to change. And I don't mean change who I am or my personality, but just being in meeting people, taking to people, expressing myself, etc. I heard about toastmasters from this other site late last year, so I'm considering joining them at the end of this year or next yr. They're supposed to help pple who want to be better speakers, communicators...maybe because of their job, for personal reasons, because they're shy, etc. And I heard you have to give speeches in front of pple. The last time I had to speak in front of a group of pple was way back in the 12th grade in my biology class. We had to give a presentation and I had practiced and practiced and when the day came, I completely fell apart. I'm not a stutterer. I introduced my topic to the class and said a few sentences and then came the stuttering, and then my mind went completely blank. I had forgotten everything I was supposed to say. Long story short I ran out of the class and cried. It was really embarrassing and I was disappointed in myself, especially because I had been so ready, or at least I thought I was, but my nerves got the best of me. I remember not being able to sleep the night before because I was so nervous. But I am proud of myself because I did try, at least. My friend who was also very shy (and an INFJ) didn't do the presentation and this other guy who was also shy didn't show up for the class, so I guess at least I tried; it just didn't turn out as I had hope. Well, we'll see how this toastmasters thing goes when I do join,

Cherry 2009-03-26T00:59:20Z Jess http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#ad5316af-528d-450e-9a4a-e37481fdfd52 2009-03-24T00:12:31Z 2009-03-24T00:12:31Z

my teenage years were quite a ruckus -- the whole search for identity, etc. i am quite happy to say that i survived it all [though i continue to soul-search; just seems a part of my life]...i did feel 'different' while growing up [and had various people point that out to me -- not necessarily meanly]...and i still feel that way some days now. i don't mind social interactions, but i definitely need to time-out [seemingly more often than everyone i know!]...i'd rather just disappear and do what i need to than socialize and get stressed out by it. if people don't understand it that's fine. my internal balance/comfort is more important to me. i guess INFJs *are* special -- weird too, in some ways, and in certain contexts. but the word 'weird' has a somewhat negative connotation so i wouldn't personally use it. to me, my introversion is an advantage -- it gives me a unique perspective on things, and i'm happy with who i am, regardless of what others might think/say :)

Jess 2009-03-24T00:12:31Z Richard http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#703a94ba-cf3d-47ec-b3d4-7f1aaeaa45a8 2009-03-14T03:09:11Z 2009-03-14T03:09:11Z

I've always felt different compared to everyone else and the feeling of never fitting in with the others too. To be honest, I never knew that it was something that INFJ's had as a trait. I was always looking for an explanation to feeling this way or a classification that would justify the way I feel. Most of the time I would think of myself as weird because of how I thought and expressed myself toward others. While seeing how everyone acted around each other, I would always be the odd one there not fitting in and literally thinking there was something very wrong with me...I think we're different because of our inner thoughts and we're special because we have empathy.

Richard 2009-03-14T03:09:11Z Michelle http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#9ae1c77f-6aaa-475e-acd3-721d1e65ec15 2009-02-18T19:56:08Z 2009-02-18T19:56:08Z

Moxey wrote: "I used to think I didn't trust people but I started to realize its the person inside others that I trust. If you can show that person to me, who you truly are, I can trust you. Does that make sense?" Amen! I felt/feel the same way, you explained, when I read the description of INFJ. I had tears in my eyes. And your statement above reminds me of what I often think "I love humanity but I'm challenged by the people in it." I find the trust issue like you said not so much a mistrust of the person inside but more a knowledge that people can act out from unconscious triggers - triggers that a sensitive often sees coming on before the individual is even aware of it . I guess it is as hard for others to relate to us as it is for us to relate to them. The difference, I think, is that we are often drawn (or pushed kicking and screaming, lol) to understand them at a deeper level then they even want to go with themselves. So says my ENTP husband.

Michelle 2009-02-18T19:56:08Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#b9dd17f9-c656-4841-ba6d-356a7b098b95 2009-02-18T18:52:41Z 2009-02-18T18:52:41Z

And yes, we are special.

Waylon 2009-02-18T18:52:41Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#534d70cf-72c0-4311-9e46-4bd4c1cccb6a 2009-02-18T18:52:16Z 2009-02-18T18:52:16Z

It meakes sense. We get it. We feel that way, too. You are definitely not alone.

Waylon 2009-02-18T18:52:16Z Moxey http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#870c8437-6c28-428b-9cd3-f1ac18405182 2009-02-14T04:35:45Z 2009-02-14T04:35:45Z

this is so strange. I discovered this test today. I'm at another crossroads in my life, and I'm searching again. I've been down so many roads, searching and found so many beautiful things, but no understanding of who or what I am. I'm just meeting INFJ for the first time. I'm so much the introvert I didn't know there were other people like me. My childhood would been bad by any standards, but the internalizing, intuitive person that I am, it was terror. I understood way too much as I grew, I realized how much I understood that the adults present, missed. Am I weird, different, or special... I hope so because it seems that I would be even more confused if (as so many have put it to me) this were just the way life was. My constant questioning, my desire to find that ... 'oh, thats whats really going on'... moment, those incredible realizations I have that I try to explain, everything would seem as if nothing or continue to linger in the dark if I weren't special. I read these descriptions of INFJ, and I feel like I can breathe out, as if to say, maybe someone actually gets it. But being this INFJ, I'm also wondering... does anyone really get it? I used to think I didn't trust people but I started to realize its the person inside others that I trust. If you can show that person to me, who you truly are, I can trust you. Does that make sense?

Moxey 2009-02-14T04:35:45Z Michelle http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#b4c41c8d-4edd-4507-b1c8-4682d3d7fa28 2009-02-11T17:10:01Z 2009-02-11T17:10:01Z

Excellent question, I was wondering that myself (um...that's not the only reason I thought it was excellent, lol).

Michelle 2009-02-11T17:10:01Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#d9e1f7a9-0ea6-450e-96eb-9f030e6d3b43 2009-02-09T20:10:26Z 2009-02-09T20:10:26Z

Michelle: "I think my INFJ and empathic sensitivities were more intensified do to needing to read people and situations in order to survive childhood. " I wonder... do a disproportionate number of INFJ's feel that they experienced a more difficult than usual childhood? If so, do you think we're INFJ's because of our childhood or was our childhood difficult because we were INFJ's? Chicken or egg?

Waylon 2009-02-09T20:10:26Z Michelle http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#860469a2-bbef-47de-aed4-997cbdaca2cd 2009-02-09T15:52:20Z 2009-02-09T15:52:20Z

I felt like an alien pretending to be human, lol. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I learned very early on that what I said/felt was off and confusing to others so I stayed silent about me and spent my life dedicated to inspiring others and listening to them. In a way I got a lot back vicariously but was lonely inside. I think my INFJ and empathic sensitivities were more intensified do to needing to read people and situations in order to survive childhood. But now that's just so not enough, I'm ready to enjoy my gifts! When I took the INFJ test I felt like I'd come home. Then when I read the INFJ and Empath sites on Tribe I didn't feel so strange. Thank you all for posting!! p.s. I've sat on many enneagram panels and most types feel like they are different/didn't fit in but in different ways. It was amazing to learn that.

Michelle 2009-02-09T15:52:20Z Nicole http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#bf2486eb-b586-431f-af6b-2e4478ea18e4 2009-02-06T00:22:53Z 2009-02-06T00:22:53Z

Yes, I would definitely agree. Percentage wise INFJ approximately makes up 1-3% of America. A lot of times I feel like I'm in that 1% of the crowd I'm associated with. I tend to relate so much with outcasts like people with autism that I find it must be an INFJ thing because I obviously don't have autism or any other disabling qualities.

Nicole 2009-02-06T00:22:53Z Doug http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#334145b0-330b-4c4d-9494-92d1ad606665 2009-01-14T08:38:21Z 2009-01-14T08:38:21Z

We spend a lot of time being in our aloneness. Solitary activities instead of social activities. I realized that I was different from a lot of the kids in school when I was growing up. I had to force myself to adapt to them to be included. As an INFJ we're certainly a tiny minority. Depending who you believe we're 1 to 2 percent of the population. For many years the only explanation I could find was that I was born a Cancer and believed that I had many of attributes of a Cancer male. I overcame a lot of my introversion by engaging in activities which in hindsight wouldn't make sense for an INFJ. At one point I did real estate sales work. I can tell you that the phone weighed 500 lbs and it was very hard to pick up the phone to make a cold call to someone I didn't know to sell them something. After many years of effort, I can usually make that same cold call with little effort if I believe in what I have to say. There are other things that I did because I knew somehow that I needed to stretch myself out of my introverted skin. Being involved with a non-profit because I strongly believed in the cause led me to become an state officer of an organization with 5000 members. Owning my own business forced me to go out and meet people. Now if I go into a networking meeting, I have no trouble walking up to people and starting a conversation. I actually know what I'm doing but I would have been scared to death to do it years ago. If I thought about it long enough, I'm sure I could point to other experiences that stretched the introverted skin I was born with. I try not to focus too much attention on my being different. I'm unique and a little special. I try use what I got from this deal by using the talents that it gives me, especially my ability to communicate, empathize and to absorb complex problems. I think you can get too self-involved in your aloneness and differentness. If you do, you'll stay in that realm and never grow where you need to grow.

Doug 2009-01-14T08:38:21Z Carol http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#37a6f8fa-1d08-41d4-8fdb-492ba5eb51dc 2008-12-20T04:27:12Z 2008-12-20T04:27:12Z

In regards to myself, I say "I'm Weird"...and I openly admit it! - Smiles Why? - Because I "DO" think differently than most people. (80% of the world are sensors, I think) And that is okay with me. Hope it's okay with them.

Carol 2008-12-20T04:27:12Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#e3f45e19-e1ea-4ad0-9125-c2927612c8ba 2008-12-18T21:29:22Z 2008-12-18T21:29:22Z

Shelley: "Nobody I know is an INFJ" Ah! Poor Shells! I've been fortunate enough to know several fellow INFJ's in my life and they are all wonderful people. It's sooo refreshing to be able to talk to someone on such a deep level who instantly *gets* you without you having to explain things. Best of all, my sister is an INFJ as well. Everyone in this Tribe is invited to come to Florida on vacation and we'll have a big INFJ laugh/cry/giggle/scream/talk/listen/understand/hug/rant/be silly fest! Shelley: "I'm starting to realize that I might not be so bad after all." Not only are you not so bad, you're the best there is! An INFJ is the best thing to be, in my not-exactly-humble INFJ opinion :) We're the glue that holds the world together.

Waylon 2008-12-18T21:29:22Z Shelley http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#a37855ec-ea5a-4cbf-99bb-7903ccccc06a 2008-12-18T15:54:24Z 2008-12-18T15:54:24Z

Oh man, I'm 100 percent on the same page as you. Nobody I know is an INFJ, and I definitely got the feeling that I should be acting differently so I could be accepted. I beat myself up for not being like everyone else quite a bit, although I'm starting to realize that I might not be so bad after all.

Shelley 2008-12-18T15:54:24Z Shelley http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#20fb4df5-c365-4e0d-8faa-8c0ba48a1a53 2008-12-18T15:48:32Z 2008-12-18T15:48:32Z

We're definitely different. I don't think there's any getting around it. I don't know if this is anyone else, but I would always get this feeling that I understood people better than they understood themselves. Which is frusturating. It's always been hard with my friends, because I tend to call them out when they're being unreasonable, or clearly lying to themselves. I know this is somewhat self-destructive, because it gets people angry with me. Regardless, I know I'm weird (althought different is probably a kinder word), because people are always telling me so. I over-analyze everything (but to me everyone else is under-analyzing), and I have an opinion on everything. The really sad part is that even though I have so many thoughts and opinions on absolutely everything, not everyone is as curious as us INFJs, so they never seem to care as much as I do. Also in the special department, the whole empathy thing is just completely overwhelming. I cry over things that happen to people I don't even know. It's hard to be social because the problems of other's instantly become mine. Stress and anxiety are serious problems for me. On the bright side, i sometimes love that feeling of being different. I like feeling like I might truly be the only one who "gets it." Whatever "it" may be.

Shelley 2008-12-18T15:48:32Z Asma http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#0a1618c4-7287-4981-a550-777546709929 2008-12-04T18:17:37Z 2008-12-04T18:17:37Z

I know how you feel, I still feel like I need to apologise to friends, colleagues for my quiet times when i just don't have the 'outward' energy cos everything's internalised.I come from a big family where i was different from everyone else - always felt different at home, school everywhere. It is getting easier now and am finding more 'coping' strategies for living as I am.

Asma 2008-12-04T18:17:37Z Ryan http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#f71fbeae-393c-4d36-8fe7-e8cc82c57e53 2008-11-28T00:32:04Z 2008-11-28T00:32:04Z

Geeze. Yes. We're a different kind of people. Childhood was awful. I spent most of my time observing the others. I was interested in them and wanted to be friends but we shared no common interests, really, and I didn't naturally have the ability to excel socially. I just didn't get it - bravado, flirting, fashion, all that social meta-game. I gave up on trying to connect with people around fifth grade and became a target for aggression. I wound up in a lot of physical fights with kids trying to move up socially by picking on the outcast, some of whom are now felons. I learned to fight pretty well and picked up physical sports like hockey and football, now I'm a boxer. I never fit in on the teams, but it was useful as a line on my social resume and kept me in shape for the next attack (this was in Catholic school, were kids were doing lines of coke before games). I had basically given up on humanity and gotten very dark until I fell head-over heels for an ESFP. That was my first (and as yet only) official girlfriend, lasted 4 years, now we're on and off. I've learned to emulate/mimic the social behavior of others and I've gotten good at it, but it's decidedly an act I put on so that I can interact with other people in ways that make sense to them. I wound up in LA and, like another poster to this thread, the brainless, short-sighted, skin-deep culture here inspires cynicism. I spend a great deal of time meditating. I think about life, time, determinism, the nature of wisdom, philosophical implications of the hot ideas in theoretical physics, emotion, the nature of consciousness, the trajectory of mankind, the inevitability of human self-destruction or overpopulation, theories of reality like the simulation argument, anthropology, on and on. I'll be driving to get coffee, see something, and spend the next hour contemplating it. As a kid I assumed other people were the same. It wasn't until high school when I accepted that no one else thinks nearly as deeply as I. At times I feel like I'm the only one who actually cares or feels profoundly and steadfastly about anything. This, for me, is the most isolating aspect of being who I am, and I'm sure you all relate.

Ryan 2008-11-28T00:32:04Z Duchess http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#c60e1284-a780-43e1-9818-b374f95de9c7 2008-06-27T06:05:43Z 2008-06-27T06:05:43Z

Dave said: "Just once I would like to meet someone who viewed the world in the same way I do. I wish I could tell everyone who lives here in this "image is everything" town that their priorities are completely ass-backward." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whoa, cool. Thats what I think too. Coincendentaly, I grew up in So-Cal and moved to Dallas (lol). Anyway, I know how you feel, it was startling to read someone else say my thoughts. I'm glad I found other INFJ's, I've never met anyone else like me....what a relief to find this site!

Duchess 2008-06-27T06:05:43Z Lexie http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#94e8c851-1f44-4ae5-a851-96b62073330f 2008-06-18T17:04:38Z 2008-06-18T17:04:38Z

My family members haven't tested themselves, but i'd wager at least one is an INFJ. Maybe an INFP. I never have to explain why I don't want to go to the bar. Or explain why I can't stand repetitive, annoying noises.

Lexie 2008-06-18T17:04:38Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#2c84a8e8-8f1d-4ede-84e7-e27e47b802a4 2008-06-18T14:20:08Z 2008-06-18T14:20:08Z

Yes, I am *very* fortunate. My sister and I are extremely close, as well. It's a very good feeling just being around someone who thinks like you do. You don't have to explain yourself, they just "get it". Have patience, though, Hidley. Sooner or later you'll come across another one of us :)

Waylon 2008-06-18T14:20:08Z Hidley http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#0b7ab5a8-276b-4d97-b2e1-99acffe47938 2008-06-18T12:59:27Z 2008-06-18T12:59:27Z

Yeah I felt a kind of "wow-moment" when I first read my personality description- it was like the first time in my life that someone had understood me. Since then whenever I'm feeling bad about myself or different I read it over to remind myself there ARE benefits to being an INFJ. But I'm jealous of you Waylon, becuase none of my family members (or in fact anyone I can think of) are INFJs, so they always told me I should act differently in order to be accepted into society . Finding the personality description certainly helped, but I think I am still a long way from accepting myself as I am with no apologies.

Hidley 2008-06-18T12:59:27Z Maura http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#22dcba8d-e681-4503-b8ee-61dd8714886d 2008-06-14T19:36:09Z 2008-06-14T19:36:09Z

I have always felt different. Knowing there is such thing as an "INFJ" and it's rarity helps me understand and accept who I am -with no apologies. I think that comes with age, as well. You just know yourself better. You know you're a little different, but you accept it ...you find what works and those who you can connect with. It may take some time, but the depth and clarity of what infjs search for is incomparable. I really like that I am different in that way.

Maura 2008-06-14T19:36:09Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#e89730a5-2739-4c96-b000-8a0bea2b2c04 2008-06-10T12:44:39Z 2008-06-10T12:44:39Z

I forgot to mention, but it's also been very helpful to me that my sister is an INFJ as well, so each of us has always had someone else around that thought like the other.

Waylon 2008-06-10T12:44:39Z isla http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#004d78e8-322f-427a-83db-22c3810091d0 2008-06-09T11:22:43Z 2008-06-09T11:22:43Z

Hi everyone, yes I can relate to feeling different 100%, I had an awful childhood and felt as though i was born on the wrong planet lol. it took me a long time trying to figure out why everyone thought I was wierd. There have been a few people in my life who really 'get' me but everyone else I have ever met openly tell me i am strange or wierd. i suppose it has strengthened my introvertedness as I tend to really withdraw into myself when rejected. But saying that, when I have met someone who I can relate to, I am really bubbly and alive. I met one person once who is an INFP and he makes me shine. I think it's really hard to feel normal when most of the population are not NF's.

isla 2008-06-09T11:22:43Z Dave http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#0b4ed885-d7e5-40fb-8ea6-1736f1c46a0f 2008-06-06T04:41:35Z 2008-06-06T04:41:35Z

Other people freak me completely out. I am living in Southern California after having grown up in Dallas, Texas, and the proximity of so many people is about to make me completely lose my mind. Just once I would like to meet someone who viewed the world in the same way I do. I wish I could tell everyone who lives here in this "image is everything" town that their priorities are completely ass-backward. Ijust keep my mouth shut anymore. Maybe it is time to speak my truth. I am fortunate to have some intimate friendships (platonic but very loving) and without those, I would certainly run as fast as I could from this place.

Dave 2008-06-06T04:41:35Z Samantha http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#4fbfc143-1479-421a-bc5e-7242687889bb 2008-06-06T04:08:53Z 2008-06-06T04:08:53Z

Yes. I have never felt like I belonged. It wasn't until my INFJ friend told me to take the test that it started to make sense. Turns out I have several INFJ friends & they are the people around whom I feel most comfortable. Like I don't even have to say anything, they just get me, and vice versa. I also learned long ago that talking about my intuition in public isn't really considered cool at all. Discovering my personality type gave me hope that i wasn't a freak, just unusual.

Samantha 2008-06-06T04:08:53Z Lexie http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#d0e0ca92-d97b-4079-ba42-ca1f4cf603ef 2008-06-05T19:54:18Z 2008-06-05T19:54:18Z

Ever since childhood, I looked for approval from outside sources. I always approve of myself- I don't disappoint myself and always do the best that i can. But I always wanted 'Hey, good job!' and somebody who cared what I did, but I never got it. And because no one was supportive of me in any way, I (mostly) stopped seeking approval from anyone and consciously disconnected myself from everyone else. For a long time, I just figured that people were selfish ********* at the core, and I was very bitter toward them. In some ways, I still think people are first and foremost selfish, if only for survival reasons. But now I see shades of gray where I didn't before. There are some people who never cared, and are just dicks. There are dicks who weren't always dicks but were disappointed in life (<--I hold hope for those types). There are people who really honestly don't believe they're dicks, but they're behavior says otherwise (<--a good portion of the human population). There are normal people who do occasionally bad things, and kick themselves hard for it (<--another large portion). And there are those who so rarely do anything wrong/bad/mean/hurtful that it's statistically negligable, and they rarely even ponder good vs. bad (<--mother theresa types). I always felt like there was more to me. I still think that. Hell, there's STILL more of myself to discover. I'm only now becoming more accepting of the fact that I'm NOT a social butterly, that I DON'T feel the desire to socialize for the hell of it (unless I really do like them) and that I am by nature someone who enjoys a lot of alone time. I also pretty much always make a decision to do something, then do it. Seems like a simple formula for me, but you wouldn't believe how many people lack follow through on their OWN plans! Example: "I think it's a good time to break up with boyfriend." *Then does it that night.* Other people whine about how they're going to "try" and how it's so hard or how something came up and I just sort of cock my head to the side and wonder where they lost track of how to perform a direct action. People are strange and so chock full of self-deception that it's hard to believe in any promises except the ones I make. I feel bad for them though...they really have no idea that they don't match what they say or profess to think. (In general. Of course I've had the happiness of knowing people who don't display much of the above behaviors.) (Everyone deceives themselves at least a little, and at least once.)

Lexie 2008-06-05T19:54:18Z Waylon http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#7f9296d7-5170-4b41-8555-0e1b90cf0e67 2008-06-05T19:16:16Z 2008-06-05T19:16:16Z

I think one of the biggest challenges for me at least is the sense of "aloneness". It's very hard finding other people who I can really relate with. I consider myself very fortunate that my best friend for the past 20 years is an INFP. We click well and can relate to one another well enough that it's comfortbale for both of us. I have a handul of friends who are also INFJ's, and they're quite refreshing to be around. It's nice being able to talk to people you don't have to explain yourself to. They just automatically "get it".

Waylon 2008-06-05T19:16:16Z Marco http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#aa2fa0bf-0d62-49e7-ad32-677e5f18509b 2008-06-05T18:50:14Z 2008-06-05T18:50:14Z

well talking about empiric situations, as a child I always felt different. But I guess because of my high Feeling preference i always looked for acknowledgment from others; and since neither my friend nor my parents gave me this i just had a very rough childhood, being different and criticized. This was really hard specially for an empathic type, i just could feel how i wasn't accepted; i could always sense the discordance between what people were saying and feeling. That was just too confusing at fist i thought maybe they did feel how i accepted them and that's why they didn't feel as bad. Now i know only about 1% of the population actually perceives the world from their inner intuitions, and that's why we are hardy comprehended by others. In school my friend were an ENFP and an INTP; the problem was the ENFP guy was really abusive, so i just couldn't open myself to anyone as much as i longed for. The relationship with my INTP friend was actually pretty good. He was this little guy who could rationalize really well, then again when talking about feelings he just couldn't rationalize as much :D He always told me i was genius, was the only one ever supporting me; he said the way i got things even before he explained the whole concept to me was incredible. When i was with him talking about how he felt i used to tell him what he was trying to explain to me exactly the way he wanted to hear himself saying that :D I guess we are just supposed to be who we are, and we having the ability of understanding the world and people in such a great manner, we should give ourselves time to teach other people and help them. I don't feel different anymore, i used to think i was special, now i just live as i want to and use my time to what i think will make the world a better place. So i live in peace, just try opening yourself without paying attention to hard judgment people have. I've noticed most of the people already have prejudgments about everything; meaning the first impression we get of them intuitively is they not liking us. So i jump this part and when i want to socialize i just do it in such an harmonic way, that people start to get in my own vibe.

Marco 2008-06-05T18:50:14Z Hidley http://infj.tribe.net/thread/00720086-9966-4ee3-9875-ca1d45a63ed8#56e3fcd8-a176-4478-96fc-2b6f502fb108 2008-06-05T17:58:47Z 2008-06-05T17:58:47Z

Hey all, I read somewhere that all INFJs think they are either weird or special and I wondered how many of you could relate to that? I grew up thinking I was "different" and always searching for a new label to explain why I felt different to the others. As an adult I still feel different and I find social interactions really stressful sometimes because of that. Do you think INFJs really are weird/special/different? Or do we just think that way because we are introverts and keep ourselves apart?

Hidley 2008-06-05T17:58:47Z