http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8?format=rss Tribe.net. Local Connections http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#e23d5838-97f3-4754-b702-b02da8fdf612 Hi guys :) Ya, Columbo is my hero, lol (right up there with Wonder Woman). He plays humble ( in a planned conscious way) and plays up the strength of others around him. They then feel grounded and confident (as by playing up their strengths he inadvertently reminds them of their own wisdom and power). I think that when any person is reminded of their self empowerment (this is what we do when we inspire people) they feel more aligned in their center. When people are aligned they/we become much easier to communicate with - because we can get on with the process of communicating rather then with working through defense mechanisms. I think the feeling {F} part is important because it helps us become aware of things before we even consciously notice it. As an empathic person I often times feel something different then what someone is saying. I'm learning though that it is a bit invasive to point the discrepancies out to the other until they have had a chance to process it for themselves (my husband - ENTP - reminds me of this :). And just because I sense something doesn't mean I need to speak it. I think for feeling people the feeling comes first then triggers the thoughts and for thinking predominant people the thought triggers the recognition of the emotion. So, we have to (well of course we don't have to but it does make things easier) work on a language that fits the crossroads. If we are too feeling based we can trigger mistrust and overwhelm in a thinking predominant person and if they get too wordy with us we can get emotionally/mentally overwhelmed. If we both tone things down a bit at the moment of getting to know each other then in future connections and dialogues a trust will already have been established. Thank goodness we are not all feeling predominant types!! Often times a T can be grounding for an F and visa versa, as it sounds like you guys have already noticed. Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:37:38 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#e23d5838-97f3-4754-b702-b02da8fdf612 Michelle 2009-03-08T23:37:38Z http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#16d8cb3e-c8f5-4c80-a333-05175f8680ca P.S. I will try to go "Columbo" but I'm not sure I know how to "put away" the Fe, or what NTJs might need to feel safe. I'll have to find out more about that. Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:29:12 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#16d8cb3e-c8f5-4c80-a333-05175f8680ca Rachel 2009-03-07T17:29:12Z http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#6bbb718c-da48-4a89-a448-2f37d0009ddc Great points! Thanks so much. I feel better knowing it's not just me. Michelle, I agree, I tend to get along with INTJs really well after a bit. I work the most smoothly with them professionally, and there tends to be mutual respect even though we are never the best of friends (those are usually NFs). Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:28:19 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#6bbb718c-da48-4a89-a448-2f37d0009ddc Rachel 2009-03-07T17:28:19Z http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#61aa3177-6ac9-460f-8b3e-788c3ea046f1 i joined this tribe as i think i manifest traits of the infj but i do test as intj...you are right about the wariness of one on one conversation. occasionally i try to reassure people that they shouldn't take it personal. it's just my way. i've noticed that there is a hefty amount of exaggeration to do with type traits but yeah, this one is true of me definitely. Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:33:59 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#61aa3177-6ac9-460f-8b3e-788c3ea046f1 VickZ 2009-03-06T20:33:59Z http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#5dc67d9f-a7db-48b8-8492-6c873f546a95 I wonder if the intuitive and thinking parts of that type of person war a bit? Maybe you are so open and honest that they feel intimidated by it and thus subconsciously harken back to an image of a used car salesman and overlay that on you. I've often thought of that when I used to get that reaction over and over. I realized that I needed to approach these, possibly battle weary, people a little differently so they felt on safer ground. I would play Columbo - stay more understated and ask questions that helped them feel grounded and able to open to me as they felt comfortable. Of course one doesn't have to do all that work to satisfy the other but often if we can do this right at the beginning of the relationship these mistrusting type of people subconsciously will feel that we care about their safety. Then when we are "in" these people can make the best of friends and allies because they don't trust lightly but they trust deeply. Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:36:51 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#5dc67d9f-a7db-48b8-8492-6c873f546a95 Michelle 2009-03-06T17:36:51Z http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#64437224-e840-49bd-8008-1795094b5606 I have been noticing that people who I'm pretty sure are NTJs (in an academic setting so this is probably a fair guess) can have this attribute of seeming sort of wary (in one-on-one conversations). I don't know if it is of me or if that is general with everyone. I've been told I come across as really honest, which I'm sure is true of most Infjs...and I have no ill intentions or anything. These are only professional conversations. It hurts my feelings a little bit to feel someone is suspicious of me. Has anyone noticed this or has an idea what that's about? Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:58:36 GMT http://infj.tribe.net/thread/06c272fb-8f58-403b-8f40-d787aae670d8#64437224-e840-49bd-8008-1795094b5606 Rachel 2009-03-06T16:58:36Z