You know you're INFJ when...

topic posted Tue, August 17, 2010 - 12:47 AM by  D
I saw this thread on another site, but really didn't feel like joining just to contribute my own list. Here seemed like a good place to post it.

Here goes:

You know you're INFJ...

When you hate to do anything negative and people see you as an optimist, but you're secretly your own worst critic.

When you can watch a movie for the first time and predict the plot and ending in minutes.

When quiet is easy because it requires so much less energy than talking (and sifting through the pretentious fronting that the average three minute).

When you discover that you're assumptions/guesses about motives are usually correct.

When you people watch and notice things that others would never even think of.

When people respect your talents and abilities to an almost audible "awe" level, but shrug you off in the next breath.

When people feel like they have to lie to you about activities/preferences/etc because they don't match up to your own moral code and they don't want to disappoint you. But you can always tell when this is happening.

When people consider you a good leader because you always have a plan and great ideas, but you hate being moved into the forefront. Unless it's something you're extremely passionate about.

When you apologize to people after you chastise them gently and tactfully.

When you can see a person and play out multiple scenarios of conversations and outcomes in your head. You hope the best one happens, but it generally turns out to be none-of-above. (Had this problem with almost every girl that I've ever tried to start a relationship with).

Please don't crucify me if this has been done here before. It pains me when I read things on other sites where an innocent post/poster is ripped to shreds because the topic has already been discussed. I actually haven't seen that behavior on any of the posts here, but I couldn't help putting this out there. :)
posted by:
offline D
Las Vegas
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Thu, August 19, 2010 - 6:44 PM
    LOL, this speaks to me a lot. Thanks for posting it. I don't feel quite so alone in all this :)
    • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

      Sun, August 22, 2010 - 8:23 PM
      D, this is me to a T!

      I was going to copy and paste and comment on a few of the statements you wrote but as I moved down the list I realized I'd just have to copy and past the whole thing, lol - I resemble all those remarks.
      • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

        Tue, August 24, 2010 - 10:10 AM
        We never rip one another to shreds. We're INFJ's. We don't do that.

        Leadership happens to be something I'm in the process of learning a lot more about. From my experience, there are *many* different types of leadership and ways to lead. It's a lot more than just barking orders and directing people here and there. Once an INFJ discovers their particular strengths and learns how to apply their leadership styles, INFJ's make *very* powerful leaders. None of us should be afraid to step into a leadership role... we can do it, and we can do it well.
        • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

          Wed, August 25, 2010 - 10:46 AM
          I read a book once called, The Art of Supportive Leadership." The author showed a style of supporting the strengths of the team without micro-managing -- yet, at the same time, being a true leader - not wishy-washy.
          • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

            Fri, September 10, 2010 - 2:32 PM
   can jump ahead of the converation to the end in your head as you know what they are going to say,so just end up nodding when they say the things you already thought...but the person you are talking to doesn't realise and probably thinks you are one step behind !
            • Ed
              offline 1

              Re: You know you're INFJ when...

              Fri, September 10, 2010 - 6:05 PM
              You know you are an INFJ when...

              You are probably the wisest person in the room

              You know your plan works in the first place, but everybody else has their way and ends up doing your plan and taking credit for it

              You overexaggerate things

              You overthink and come up with supernatural explanations for things
              • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

                Fri, September 10, 2010 - 9:08 PM
                Ed, a couple of those sound just like my husband but he's an ENTP, LOL.

                I do, completely, relate to over-thinking but I rarely over-exaggerate (afraid someone might call me on it). Over-exaggerating is my husbands job too -- he told me it was a guy thing. Although, he does under-exaggerate when he spends money :0,

                Yeah, others do take credit for my plans, but at least I don't have to be on the front-lines running with it. I just get to instigate it from the background, hehe.
                • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

                  Tue, September 14, 2010 - 7:39 AM
                  Michelle: "Yeah, others do take credit for my plans, but at least I don't have to be on the front-lines running with it. I just get to instigate it from the background, hehe. "

                  This, too, is leadership.

                  Tao Te Ching verse 17:

                  When the Master governs, the people
                  are hardly aware that he exists.
                  Next best is a leader who is loved.
                  Next, one who is feared.
                  The worst is one who is despised.

                  If you don't trust the people,
                  you make them untrustworthy.

                  The Master doesn't talk, he acts.
                  When his work is done,
                  the people say, "Amazing:
                  we did it, all by ourselves!"
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: You know you're INFJ when...

                    Mon, February 27, 2012 - 11:21 PM
                    Waylon, I love that book. It always brings a sense of calm and well-being to me. I also have to read it front to back each time. Excellent verse, I'm glad you shared it with everyone. :)
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Tue, September 21, 2010 - 9:35 AM
    LOL. Great post. I love it.

    Others I would add:

    -you can read a person's personality in seconds, yet forget their name even after you've met over a dozen times
    -you confuse the heck out of people; and, in most cases, especially your mate!
    -you can count the number of your "real friends" on one hand though you may have hundreds of acquaintances
    -you write like Chaucer, rock out like Anthony Kedis, yet have a degree of humility and service towards other like Ghandi or MLK
    -you "go deep", sometimes to the point of making others uncomfortable
    -you find philosophical conversations stimulating and can spend hours with the most random people or random background having one - then drive home with a big smile on your face LOL
    -you might not be the best, but you have HEART and it's "not the size of the dog that wins the fight, the size of the fight in the dog!"
    -life can suck sometimes, but you're enduring and when success finds you - it finds you big time!!

    Nice post!!

    • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

      Tue, September 21, 2010 - 9:38 AM stop talking about this. You're depressing the hell out of me. A given when there's too much INFJ in the punch.. =D
      • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

        Fri, September 24, 2010 - 4:25 PM
        Thanks for that quote. I'll have to scare up my Tao Te Ching again, you inspired me. Yep that is just like that book "The Art of Supportive Leadership." I used to say that people may not notice what I do but they always notice when I stop doing it.

        Aaron. Those were so right on, lol.
        I like the one about sizing up the person yet after a dozen times still not remembering their name. I'm trying by using images to put together with their names (or writing it down) but I'm still challenged by it; although I always remember what they talked about and often the style of clothing they wore.

        My husband usually always remembers peoples names or else he walks up and says, "I'm sorry I've forgotten your name." That wouldn't work for me 'cause I'd keep having to ask them.
    • Unsu...

      Re: You know you're INFJ when...

      Mon, February 27, 2012 - 11:16 PM
      Wow. Only an INFJ would be able to put that so astutely. Well, not really. Is it sad that I can't let myself make generalizations? Lol. Still, what you said had me nodding all the way down the list. And by the time I reached "You find philosophical conversations stimulating...." I had a smile on my face and laughed when I read the end of that sentence. :D
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Mon, February 28, 2011 - 2:09 PM
    Interesting, I must say. But this is a rather extreme format I think. I am an INFJ too, but am very particular about what sort of behavior I project. I feel intensely, sure, but I am tactful in presenting my thoughts outside.

    Dont worry, no rejections or criticisms from me. Your piece was quite interesting. And keep going. Stop apologizing for putting your points here. We all understand that everyone here has a right to speak their minds. So relax.
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Wed, March 2, 2011 - 11:47 AM
    Wow. I haven't laughed at myself like this in a very long time. Thank you so much. I have been feeling VERY alone in my INFJness & have been very isolated in my self contained world of "Knowing whats going to happen next, but no one listens to me. Then being blamed for it happening" . I joined tribe because of this post. Love feeling that I am not alone. Finally.
    • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

      Thu, March 3, 2011 - 8:55 AM
      Greetings and welcome.

      I have found that this group has been *very* understanding and supportive when I've brought up things that I've been struggling with, so feel free to share anytime you're troubled. We're a tight-knit group, but not in any exclusive way. I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure the rest would agree that there's a kinship and camaraderie between what are basically strangers here that I'm not sure other types experience.

      It's nice being around a bunch of people who understand exactly what you mean without you having to explain it.
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Sun, September 25, 2011 - 5:09 AM
    Love it :-) I am reading through all these posts after having done a personality test which showed me as INFJ and I can't believe how much I can relate to you all.... and the list you posted is so typical of me I feel relaxed and at home after having read it :-)
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Wed, February 22, 2012 - 4:26 PM
    - something is sooo obvious to you and you just don't get why you're the only one who sees it.

    - a person can say ANYTHING to you and you have a response but people will look at you like you have daisies growing out of your ears if you say something that requires a philosophical response.
  • Unsu...

    Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Mon, February 27, 2012 - 11:19 PM
    LOL, I love it and so true. According to the people closest to me, I am no longer allowed to talk during movies. I'm sorry, is it so bad to share that I am such a genius I can have the entire plotline figured out within the first 20 minutes? I always catch when some random character says something in passing, and my mind automatically connects it to a possible end.

    Thanks for the entertaining list. Always fun to hold a mirror up and laugh happily. :)
    • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

      Sat, September 22, 2012 - 9:45 AM
      That is so true. I am being banned as well from talking during movies as I will spell out the end of the movies when it has just family used to get mad at me for doing it lol.
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Sat, September 22, 2012 - 9:50 AM
    When you are being taken advantage of. Somehow people deemed that INFJs are soft and can be pushed around but I know we are as a solid as a rock inside and because of that, we are more pliable.

    At work, I am constantly being pushed around but the jerk boss when no one wants to do something, I always get the brunt. I just hope I don't just blow up one day because of taking too much shit in..
  • Bec
    offline 0

    Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Sun, February 3, 2013 - 8:08 AM

    (Late to reply to this one but anyway..)

    Unimaginative introverts mistake you for a talkative extrovert and shallow extroverts think your fascinated in what they have to say but you are just secretly bored and good at catering to others while your mind wonders elsewhere..

    You are always there for your friends but hurt when they are not always there for you

    You love the idea of being social but when you are out crave your pillow and a good book
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Fri, April 19, 2013 - 11:04 PM
    when.... meet someone and you kind of observe/chat with them and their whole persona somehow sinks into you.
    after this initial reading, few people surprise you with their words or actions in the future. can not bear to watch torture scenes in movies!

    ...everyone thinks you are their best friend...actually really dislike this chameleon quality in myself, this shallow ability to charm and soften others.
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Sun, August 2, 2015 - 10:56 PM
    I just did the test tonight. I have been struggling with a lot of critism. I can relate to all of this. It's amazing and refreshing. Lol and I struggle with names, but I never forget a face.
  • Re: You know you're INFJ when...

    Wed, December 23, 2015 - 8:53 PM
    I know what you mean about playing conversations with people out in your head and them never going the way you have envisioned. I also feel like it affects my attempts at romantic relationships