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hi all. i was just skimming through a discussion of meyers-briggs on the "empaths alike" tribe, and it turns out that a *lot* of people who posted their types are INFJs. like, maybe even more people than we have on this entire INFJ tribe. any thoughts? i wasn't exactly surprised by the fact that so many INFJs identify as empaths, but was sort of shocked by the large percentage we make up of the whole body of empaths...
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Boston
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Re: infj empaths
Wed, November 21, 2007 - 9:26 PMINFJs tend to be highly observant and hone in on very subtle emotions, cues and mannerisms that many other types may miss. This likely fits the definition of empath in that INFJs are very empathetic.
I once belonged to the empaths alike tribe. I would also guess that a fair number of INFJs also have anxiety disorders too as that empathy can morph into the extreme of hypervigilance.
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Re: infj empaths
Thu, January 3, 2008 - 6:31 AMyes, I'd agree that the NF sensitivity can lead to anxiety disorders...I'm having trouble with this myself. It is difficult to "shut off" the intuitive messages and get some peace of mind. -
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Re: infj empaths
Mon, February 4, 2008 - 1:23 AMWhich is why I hate being in crowds, it's as if you are bombarded constantly on some level with other people's thoughts when you are in close proximity to so many people. I live in a small town due to this and hate having to go to a city. -
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Re: infj empaths
Sat, February 16, 2008 - 4:29 PMHi, I'm Jane, new to the group. I think I have sort of shut off my Empath, being that it was on overload. I work with the mentally ill, and have worked with some hard core people..... and empathy only goes so far (that goes for co-workers too!) Too many people see empathy and compassion as a sign of weakness, and I have had to at least not express it. But yes, I do have to sort through what are my emotions, and what are other peoples, and try to keep myself clear.
I took some meditation classes at a place called Asclepion (Berkley Psychic Institute off shoot) and the techniques are made for people like us. They consist of 'grounding out foreign energy' 'running energy' and replenishing your energy. If you would like to know more, just let me know, it is helpful! -
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Re: infj empaths
Sun, June 22, 2008 - 11:32 AMHi Jane,
I just joined today but was fascinated by what you had to say! I have had similar experiences in dealing with the mentally ill as well as with residents of a nursing home I had worked at. Why is it we are capable of shutting down a degree of our empathy in order to function in these capacities at times but are incapable of doing the same with the majority of average Joes? I do feel the effects later on though so not exactly like it is off just that I sort of feel I have blinded myself from it in some aspect in order to cope time being then usually suffer severe ripples of emotional static after ward. Is this what happens with you too?
The meditation classes sound very interesting! Would you mind shairing your experience and information with me? Thank You sooo much!
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Re: infj empaths
Sat, March 22, 2008 - 5:00 AMI am a member of the empaths alike group. Its how i ambled across tribe.net in the first place. I can be somewhat empathic. I also have an anxiety disorder (go figure) and according to the myers briggs test im an INFJ.
I also have a very stong intuition (when im not stressed out, anxiety seems to throw my intuition out) and can be prone to occassional bouts of precognition at times as well.
I am a very over sensitive person in many ways, and i think that i am just able to pick up on subtle energies around me because of that sensitivity. Sometimes, my over sensitivity, can be a bit of a curse though. Im not only sensitive to other peoples feelings and subtle energies around me etc but im also very easily hurt. It doesnt take much for someone to hurt me and that can make me hyper vigilant at times.
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Re: infj empaths
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 6:36 PMalthough being a natural empath is obviously a gift, alot of the time i feel people will take advantage of our "ready to listen to all ur problems" ears. i very rarely share alot of myself with others and i think this is a big problem with bin an empath, that we r so consumed by others that we dont hav time to give enough of ourselves. -
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Re: infj empaths
Thu, May 8, 2008 - 8:38 PMMy friend describes me as having a remarkable memory, and it constantly amazed at the level of detail that I retain. He says that it is as if I am expreiencing and recording an entirely different level of emotion that he can't even skim the surface of. I know that my work has honed this skill very well, as well as my ability to verbally express myself. And I know that there are those who are WAY far ahead of me - and it kinda tires me out being around them having to keep up LOL
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Re: infj empaths
Mon, May 19, 2008 - 8:15 AMI do believe that at times, with very specific people, I am empathic. But I need a very strong tie for it...meaning, I have to be sleeping with them and be in love. Then, it works across very great distances.
And I'm a total sponge, emotionally...which sucks ass.
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Re: infj empaths
Mon, May 19, 2008 - 9:02 AMI feel you when you say our empath ability gets somewhat abused. I actually had to solve some problems of good friends of mine in my own birthday party...!!
Still we should remember empathy is a great thing; although we are able to perceive peoples thoughts and feelings quite well we should always remember we are in touch with OUR feelings as well. Don't let your Intuitiveness overwhelm you! Feeling the way another person does is not a damnation it's rather an ability. We should be able to question ourselves if what we are feeling is preceding from inner or outer realms. What i do is i strive for harmony so I'm always feeling really good with myself, and i transmit this feeling to the people around me. So by this means it is rather easy to judge an incoming feeling, since i knew how i was feeling the whole time i can examine the proceedings of this new feeling I'm getting. Challenging our own perception is the best way to deal with our so called "down side of being an empath". It is also the best way you can use this to help others feel better. Remember the ability we have of extroverted Feeling means we can actually make people feel the way we want them to; and so with the combination of both we get to help and make the world a better place :D
by the way INFJ's are the most intuitive people in comparison to the other portraits; Because of our introverted intuition and our judging ability we tend to rely much more in our instincts then any other. Also INFP's are very intuitive but their preference for perceiving is what makes them look for new ideas the whole time, and by this means they tend to be not as empathetic as INFJ's are. -
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Re: infj empaths
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 6:30 AMhaha "emotional sponge" that's brilliant.... unfortunately I don't see this as an ability, instead I just seem to always get hurt! I can't seem to be objective or question the way I feel because I am so overwhelmed by the feeling and convinced my perception is right that I can't think another way about it. People sometimes contradict me with logic but I don't find that very convincing.... has anyone worked out what to do about the "hurt" factor? -
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Re: infj empaths
Tue, June 3, 2008 - 7:33 AMFor me, most of the time people hurt me is due to their own insecurities. Armed with that knowledge, I find it easier to let the pain go. I just tell myself they have a lot to learn....on their own path. This helps me not to feel everything is a personal attack. Took me years to figure this solution out, though, for myself. Don't know if it would work for others. -
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Re: infj empaths
Thu, December 18, 2008 - 8:44 AMHi
I can also relate to this. Sometimes i ll give myself and empathy to people, only to have them abuse it> just recently, a friend of mine was going tthrough some rough times and turning to alcohol to 'solve' his problems. I tried to be supportive. He has been a jerk for the past 4 months. He ll do things like make plans and not show up or call. I didnt call him on it everytime but i did sometiems. Then, one druken night he called me and revealed to me that he knows that he hasn't been treating me well lately but he does it anyways because he thinks he can get away with it. This really hurt me to know that he has been being a jerk on purpose! So now i m going through this phase where i dont want to get close to anybody or give empathy to anybody for a while. I need to recharge!
Sigh
DEE
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Re: infj empaths
Sat, December 20, 2008 - 8:36 AMMy thoughts of "empathy" have changed over the course of my lifetime.
Before it used to "Stress Me Out" to see a glimpse of the personal truth of someone else, but there was no "Tangible Way" to convey this to any person - it is invisible. And how do you work with that? It can't be "proven" although you know it is true. --- This can really mess with your mind... if you allow it to. Now, I have learned to look at it, in a different light. All I want is the truth and if I can do this "empathy" naturally - I must be able to handle it. I know the truth now and it leaves me blessed, as I know the people to be attracted to and the ones to stay clear of. I let life teach the lessons and don't feel the need to say anything anymore unless they ask.
In regards to the "feelings"... Recently, I learned to check myself. And by knowing myself better: my "True" likes; dislikes; interests; fears and frustrations - I know if it is from someone else or myself. It really made the "boundary Fence" much easier for me to see. And it is my choice what I want to do with it. A walk in the woods or outside, allows me to leave that feeling there.
Perhaps, Empathy is just a "leg up" on the world. At times, I really feel bad for people whom can't do this. Because they only take in what is "on the surface" and therefore can be Used; Manipulated; or Follow someone that they really shouldn't.
I now see Empathy as my friend.
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Re: infj empaths
Wed, January 28, 2009 - 4:51 PMIs there a process by which you've learned who to attract/be attracted to, and who to let be? I get pulled in by people who are very hurt and confused. I end up being a crutch, and not even a good one. It is completely exhausting and I feel like a failure. I want to help, and don't know how. Abandoning anyone who's hurting, though, is not how I want to live life, as I'm sure we all probably agree. So...how do you know when you are or are not able to be empathic with someone in a way that won't shred you? -
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Re: infj empaths
Fri, February 6, 2009 - 11:23 AMBoy I've loved learning about other INFJs and Empaths - I finally feel "normal" or at home. After most of my life not knowing that I was empathing (is that a word?) and just being buffeted around by others pain and joy - mostly pain - I was told by a Ayurvedic co-worker of mine:
"Forget trying so hard to put the white light around you or working with the esoteric (works well for others but didn't work for me, at that time). You already live in the ethers, without a healthy container/ego/sense of self . Instead learn to INHABIT your body. Nature abhors a vacuum so if you are not filling your body then other things will. You are not under attack from others instead you are reaching out and grabbing their pain and joy - like a sponge without boundaries. You leave your body because it feels so much pain then you see others in pain and try to help them out of it in a twisted attempt to no longer feel their/your pain. You can not take it from them but until you realize that you are attempting to do for them what in actuality you need to do for yourself you will continue this martyr-like cycle thus drawing more like-minded people to continue to push your buttons."
How true her words were/are because that which is liken to its self is drawn. If we inhabit our bodies fully and completely in love and respect and physical activity we strengthen our own vessel.
Re. your concern about abandoning people who are hurting I fully understand (clearing the rest of my co-dependency at this time) but we can never take anyone's pain from them. We can only make a carbon copy and store it into our own solar plexus and feel pain with them. My body used chronic fatigue to take me out of the "crutch" game but until I finally started treating myself the way I treated others things didn't change.
We attract what we send out and we engender in others what we feel for ourselves. When we get clear, balanced and loving within ourselves we do not abandoned others in their time of need but we connect/assist in a completely different way - deeper and more truthfully...and we also learn that no one is truly broken or needs to be saved (I used to think my mission was to bring light to the world...kind of arrogant actually - 'cause everyone has their own light...but we can inspire :). -
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Re: infj empaths
Sat, February 7, 2009 - 10:53 AMWow, I really related to that. And you're right - I ALWAYS feel better when I treat my body the way I should, and it's why I love to run even though I'm so naturally unathletic...and when I'm stressed, my health immediately shows it. My body falls apart! So maybe that's right - focusing on being in your body rather than getting even more esoteric (we do that enough!).
I don't think others are broken or that I can fix them...I just feel, somehow, that my empathy helps a little bit, at least to feel less alone. I think all of us here probably know what it feels like to be in pain and feel that no one gets it. But it hurts me MUCH more than it helps them. I hope I can find better ways to help that don't involve me basically jumping in the water to help and drowning myself. I think it will help a lot when I am done with my education and find a job that serves for good. Until then I will keep trying to stop grabbing the pain of others!
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