Happiest places for INFJs

topic posted Wed, November 29, 2006 - 10:36 PM by  Litestorm
I have asked something like this before and did not get much of a response.
Lets see if the changes Julie has instituted are going to improve the situation.
Which towns/cities (maybe nations) are most friendly to the INFJ Mindset?
Which towns do you think you are your fellow INFJ would be happiest in?

Here is a similar thread in the INTJ group.

posted by:
SF Bay Area
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Thu, November 30, 2006 - 7:15 AM
    That's a rather tough question to answer.

    As far as I can tell, INFJ's tend to be pretty passionate about whatever it is that they're into. I love outdoor activities and non-competetive "sports" that I can do with a small handful of people, and I love the water, so things like sailing and scuba diving are fantastic INFJ activities for me. Panama City and other small coastal towns in NW Florida are perfect for me because I get to do those things. And if I decided I want to get out and intereact with people, there's an endless number of bars/clubs with live music and 17 miles of fantastic beach. It's a small enough town that things go at a fairly slow pace. We're going through condo-mania right now, so housing costs are doubling every 4 years or so, so I wouldn't recommend anyond actually move here until things settle down, but it's a fun, laid-back place to come visit on vacation.

    However, for someone who is more into rock climbing and snow-skiing, Florida would be a sad disappointment.

    Nations? Hmmm. I haven't gotten to travel nearly enough yet to make a very informed judgement on that one, but from my limited experience in Japan and Okinawa, eastern cultures seem to value introversion and introspection quite a bit more than they are in western culture. I felt quite at home in Okinawa the little while I was there. Talk about people with *manners*. I thought I was obsessed with politeness, but there I felt like every other phrase out of my mouth was "excuse me".

    Anyone else have any experiences with Japan/China/Korea/Vietnam/Tailand or other eastern areas?
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Thu, November 30, 2006 - 8:36 AM
      I prefer the solitude of nature to reorganize my thoughts, to energize myself, so areas of the country with large parcels of beautiful open space attract me. I have to admit that the small-town mentality scares me a bit, probably out of naivety more than anything, so moving to a remote place isn't on my radar just yet.

      I lived in L.A. for many years during college. I was so young when I moved there when there, only 17... L.A. was such a new and exciting place, especially being on my own just made it that much more exciting. I was loving it! L.A. gave me a lot in terms of education and a broader understanding of diversity. For that I'm forever grateful because I know it shaped who I am in many respects.

      As the years passed however, I started to loathe living there. Mainly because of the whole rat race mentality and how that played heavily into people's dealings with one another. There was more of a distinct need to get ahead vs. needing to accept differences which brought about a lot of bad manners in the general population. There were so many times I'd walk into restaurants or retail establishments and find a person getting themselves in a fit over bad service, yelling at servers or cashiers, causing a scene ... and for what? To make a total ass of themselves and treat other people like crap? That type of behavior drains on me, I'd assume most INFJ's would react the same way when they saw others were getting their feelings hurt. It was too bad because L.A. had a lot to offer me as an INFJ if I could have just gotten past the superficiality of it all. I couldn't though, it was too big of an issue. The hectic lifestyle and go-go-go mentality drained on me heavily and I ended up moving back to Arizona where I grew up.

      Waylon, I haven't been to Thailand but my best friend (also INFJ) is volunteering for the Peace Corps there. She's in the southern most part of Thailand near Phuket, in a relatively rural village. She loves it! So far it's been the most enriching eye opening experience of her life. The people are extremely generous and giving regardless of social class or status.. I'm planning to visit her in the Spring (the first time I'm leaving the country!) so I'm excited to see how much I like it!
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Thu, November 30, 2006 - 10:31 AM
        Small towns are good and bad. Things work at a different pace, and there are so many fewer problems (one small town [Wausau] near where I live reported that thier two most severe and pressing problems in the entire town were people speeding on Main Street and stray dogs) but there are often huge limitations in the "things to do" category, i.e.a shortage of museums, theatre, etc. That's why I tend to prefer "medium sized" places. It's a balance.

        Wow! Going to Tailand sounds great. That should be a fantastic experience. I'll expect a full report when you get back. I'll be going to Kwajalein (Marshall Islands) for a couple weeks around the same time, so I'm pretty excited, too.
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Thu, November 30, 2006 - 1:21 PM
    i tend to find quiet corners, patios, and seats in far corners to collect thoughts, smoke a cigar, and reflect (ideally with my laptop). I'm not sure how much of an "I" some of you all are, but mine is extreme and a busy day at work becomes necessary downtime to gather my energy and thoughts.
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Fri, December 1, 2006 - 11:05 PM
    Good libraries, academia, and scenic parks/gardens is a plus

    Reasonable amount of competence regarding social justice in regards to humanitarian needs, human rights, better than usual ballence where people have more time. It is because our kind are usually greived at seeing human misery, poverty, urban blight even if we ourselves live in relative wealth. After all it is in the nature of INFJ's to be continually thinking about solutions to social ills and be aware of other ideas on the table... being in a city which tries nothing new and allows these ills to worsen out of cynacism, apathy, class selfishness, etc. is frustrating to contend with.

    Cities that might fit that bill would be

    ChristChurch NZ

    Copenhagen Dnmk

    In America... hmmm.... there may be some university towns that wouldn't be too bad, such as Princeton NJ

    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Sat, December 2, 2006 - 11:57 AM
      New Joisey!!! No one wants to live in New Joisey..
      Maybe Hanover, NH or Hew Haven,CT ;-)
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Sat, December 2, 2006 - 2:17 PM
        You haven't been to Princeton have you?

        It's like another planet from anywhere else in New Jersey.

        It's out in a direction of the state where there are acutally rolling hills and farms in surrounding towns.

        The archetecture is just.... astounding. And since I worked a dayjob in consctruction and ended up working on an addition to their genetics lab I got to spend many an envious moment looking around at the people and life... even the towns around it... it's really just an amazingly nice place (If you can afford it).

        I do like New Haven though, good suggestion.
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Tue, December 5, 2006 - 11:21 AM
    I live in a town of about 10,000 that's usually described as an old "hippie colony" and artist's community. But it's also a tourist town that draws 2+ million people a years, so we have a combination of small town feel and all the amenities to make Big City People happy.

    I live five blocks from a 500-acre state park, and eight blocks from the beach and the Straits of Juan de Fuca (practically the Pacific). Nature and green space abounds, which is very much in keeping with my personal value that "Nature is my Church."

    There are a lot of very spiritual and "alternative" folks here-- the single largest "religious" group in town is Pagan, followed by UU. The biggest bookstore is a world-class metaphysics store (about half the size of your typical Barnes & Noble that rivals anything I've seen in the Bay Area. There's a heavy focus on "small, quirky and locally grown;" very few "chain" ANYthing have set up shop here, except Safeway and a few banks and gas stations. Even the convenience stores are "homegrown."

    If I could characterize the town in a single phrase, it would be "upscale granolaheads and artists" and that fits me pretty well, as the "majority paradigm."

    Until fairly recently I lived in Texas, which I found to be very UN-friendly to my particular temperament, although probably a wonderful place for people of different persuasions, given the swift population growth.

    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Thu, December 7, 2006 - 2:55 PM
      Until fairly recently I lived in Texas, which I found to be very UN-friendly to my particular temperament, although probably a wonderful place for people of different persuasions, given the swift population growth.


      Even Austin? I hear it's pretty different and more arty there....
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Fri, December 8, 2006 - 7:26 AM
        "Even Austin? I hear it's pretty different and more arty there...."


        Austin seems to be the rose in the toilet as far as Texas goes. =P

        I've never been but my sister fell in love when she visited. Just the other day at a concert I was at a man sitting next to me started chatting about Austin, and how special the music scene is there. It sparked my interest, I totally want to visit.
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Fri, December 8, 2006 - 7:26 AM
        >>> Even Austin? I hear it's pretty different and more arty there.... <<<

        Austin, to a lesser degree. I lived in Dallas some of the time (which was not a pleasant environment), and in Austin (and 'burbs) for a good 20 years. Philosophically, Austin *is* a little different, and somewhat arty... but it's a *very* "extraverted" and "high energy" city.

        But that's just my personal experience. If you *have* to live in Texas, Austin is definitely the place to be.
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Thu, December 14, 2006 - 4:54 PM
      so where is this town you live in peter? I live on the caribbean coast of mexico. until recenly, it was perfect but it has grown to the point of being a major city without the infrastructure. time to move...
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Fri, April 11, 2008 - 3:59 PM
      So what is the name of this place??? Where is it???

      I live in the SF Bay area, spent 10 years in Marin County, and surprisingly, it is NOT a good place for INFJ's! I think the Tech industry and the $$$ has attracted a lot of hard core Thinking Types, and also a very Yuppy mindset, focused on prestige. Go to the Whole Foods and Elephant Pharmacy in San Rafael, and experience the entitlement first hand! It is wierd, but on paper, the place looks good!

      I now live north in Sonoma county, much, much better. People are just plain nice, not snobs, they don't treat you like a freak for starting a conversation!

      I tried the "Astro Travel" on to see where my astrocartography would place me.... looks like Las Cruces NM is a good astrological place for me. Any feedback on that one?
  • Kim
    offline 0

    Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Thu, December 7, 2006 - 5:40 PM

    Beautiful city...museums galore...lots of cafes to sit at and watch the world go by. You can sit for hours and hours drinking cafe au lait without some waiter hinting for you to leave so they can seat another customer. The French are not as ambitious and materialistic as Americans, so the rat race seems stange to them.

    Small towns are nice, but when it's TOO small, and everyone knows your business, it's terrible. I'm very sensitive to other people's "expectations", and when those expectations are directed at me, I feel clausterphobic. I've been there. Trust me. It ain't pretty.
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Fri, December 8, 2006 - 3:24 PM
      IMHO Parisans are the RUDEST most arogant people on Earth,
      and they stay that way because people love to see all the beautiful stuff in their city.
      The Provincials are whole lot better to get along with and share a bottle of wine with....

      As for small towns, the best places are those few small town where people keep to themselves...
      • Kim
        offline 0

        Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Wed, December 13, 2006 - 7:44 PM
        "IMHO Parisans are the RUDEST most arogant people on Earth"

        NOT if you approach them correctly. On our recent trip to Paris, we learned that you had greet a Parisian with a hearty and polite "Bon jour!" and then ask them if they speak English. Fifty percent of the time they do, and they are more than helpful. We also learned why they give somewhat "terrible" service in restaurants. In France, it's very common to spend HOURS in a cafe or restaurant just eating and talking. So a waiter thinks nothing of not checking up on you every ten minutes, because you'll be busy reading or chatting. I think what struck me most about France is that there is less emphasis in acquiring "things" and more emphasis in builing relationships and just getting out of the house.
        • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

          Wed, December 13, 2006 - 7:57 PM
          It is true that if you don't start the conversation with "Bon Jour," a Parisian might think thatyou are rude and arrogant.
          • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

            Thu, December 14, 2006 - 1:38 PM
            You also should say goodbye as well....

            What Americans don't seem to understand about Parisians is that there really is a strongly egalitarian impulse behind the manners which goes back to the revolution... Americans do not treat clerks or waiters like anything but servants, automatons, not people, they are there to do a job quickly and efficiently and don't need manners or a greeting to show respect for them. People in such jobs here know not to take this personally, it is unacceptable for them to respond to rudeness with rudeness as it is considered unprofessional and can get them fired.

            The Parisians in similar positions feel they have a right to expect to be treated like human beings, not to be ordered about like peasants but to be treated as equals. You greet and you ask. They will not be fired for being rude back to someone that has been rude to them, employers don't think the same way necessarily, in fact their sympathies will be more for their worker than to the customer if the customer has been rude.

            I sometimes wonder, having once been a Starbucks barrista once in a snooty upper middle class town within Jersey, whether America would be a better place if rudeness were not tolerated and people in lower stations of life had the right to answer such rudeness with the same without losing their jobs. The idea is that we could have more mutual respect, for truly one person may be a wealthy investmant banker's spoiled trophy wife and another person a humble low wage stooge foaming a latte but as human beings both are of equal importance of value and have an equal right to dignity.

            Vive le france! :)
            • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

              Fri, December 15, 2006 - 12:52 AM
              I cannot believe you guys are defending Parisian arrogance.....
              It would be a nightmare to see that kind of attitude in America....
              I believe it is RUDE for waiters & service employees to ASSUME equality with the people
              who are generating their livelihood. They are paid to be attentive to their guests
              and not paid to discuss politics with the kitchen help....
              It goes beyond the pale walk up to the waiter, greet him/her and then ASK politely
              for that person to actually do the job they are paid to do (take my order).

              Ultimately the tables are turned when they patronize their own establishments.
              Egalitarianism assumes that we all take turns serving each other,
              it does not assume we serve no one.
              They understand this most everywhere else in the world. Just not in Paris.
              It just boggles me why, Parisians tolerate their own BAD service.

              Part of the reason I spend money on upscale restaurants is precisely so that I can be treated like nobility.
              If I do not get requisite respect I that expect for the premium I pay I do not patronize that place.
              In return I give my clients Cart Blanche at my place of employment when It is called for (when they pay well).
              Hence the Employer should ALWAYS take the side of the customer to insure repeat business and referrals.
              Instead I get the feeling the business owners in Paris would rather fill the pride of themselves and their employees rather than generate more business. They believe that have the right to CHOOSE their clientele than vice versa.
              That unwillingness to be pragmatic stinks more of arrogance rather than sticking to principle.

              My Non-Parisian French acquaintances are actually the ones who complain the most about Parisian "rudeness".
              Being French culturally allows them to see through the Parisian hypocrisy.
              (And it is doubly hard to stop the Swiss from putting down Parisians.)

              My advice is if you Must visit that place stick to American managed establishments and the very few places that have reputations for catering to Americans (and any other tourists) well.

              • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                Fri, December 15, 2006 - 1:22 AM
                I believe it is RUDE for waiters & service employees to ASSUME equality with the people
                who are generating their livelihood. They are paid to be attentive to their guests
                and not paid to discuss politics with the kitchen help....
                It goes beyond the pale walk up to the waiter, greet him/her and then ASK politely
                for that person to actually do the job they are paid to do (take my order).


                arrogance works both ways

                it isn't actually arrogance to assume you are the equal of any person, including people you are paid to serve

                but then, I'm biased. I never cared for any hierarchy. Nor did I ever like the bitter taste it left me to have to encounter some customers in my life who treated me like I was literally a peice of human garbage and have to swallow it and be nice to them for fear of losing my job. Nor did I like some customers which deliberately pushed the envelope of disrespect towards me and other workers who did so just to prove the point that they had the power to behave like an asshole and we had none. It always made the day of some customers to push some staff to the breaking point to where their patience would give out and they could then get the staff member fired.

                I treat clerks and waitstaff with the utmost respect having been in their place, because I remember that the only thing that made my days bearable when I was in their position were the few really cool customers who did treat us like we mattered. And for them I most certainly made the extra effort to attend to them and make the experiance as pleasing as possible. The service I get in the places where I am familiar as a customer I get excellent service as a result usually. Once in a while I run into someone that is rude even if I am polite, but more often or not I get back from people what I give. That applies in Paris or anywhere.

                and beleive me, though I haven't done anything like spit in anyone's latte no matter how rude they were I had other co-workers who did and got away with it. People wo walk around with a dismissive and class conscious sense of entitlement, treating others like plebians, probably ingest a great deal of undetected spit in their lifetime. In America a disrespected worker might not be able to address customer rudeness with open rudness like a parisian without losing their job BUT they will do something indirect if they are mad enough.

                word to the wise, whether you beleive it or not you are everyone's equal, even if you are a Doctor, Lawyer, Professor for a major thinktank, Stock broker... you are the equal to the homeless people in the streets, the diner waitresses, the guy who shines shoes and picks up trash... if all of your efforts or acheivements have no meaning to you unless you can be above others you have accomplished everything you have done for the wrong reasons.

                If Parisians don't tolerate such class driven heirarchical crap, good for them.
                • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                  Fri, December 15, 2006 - 8:03 AM
                  Here, here.

                  Agree with you Schmend.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                    Fri, December 15, 2006 - 8:37 AM
                    And where would the rest of society be without people in positions like that? I'll tell you... cleaning up after themselves, making their own food... there'd be no grocery stores, no restaurants, no stores. I could go on & on, but I realize this is off topic.
                    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                      Fri, April 11, 2008 - 4:08 PM
                      I agree! Guess, what, in the Big Scheme of Life, waiters and waitresses ARE equals! That is why I am glad to be out of Marin County CA! I was tired of constantly being treated like the "help" no matter where I went, and it pained me to witness the rudeness and arrogance some of the Yuppy types dished out to store clerks, etc. Always blew my mind, they'd be out in their Prius's being "Conscious shoppers" "buying Green", and at the same time, treating the people at the stores with a lot of arrogance. A coworker spontaineously remarked, "This place is like ye' ol' feudal Europe, and we are the serfs." Wierd, but I had been thinking that for years! Glad I'm out!
              • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                Sun, March 30, 2008 - 8:38 PM
                Are you an INFJ speaking this way?? I know we are J's but I know several INFJ's and have never heard them judge anyone before- not make generalizations regarding such things for example as "parisian arrogance". It took me by surprise to hear an INFJ judge some one other than themselves so harshly. Unless of course a value has been violated which may be the case here?

                It's all very interesting!
            • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

              Tue, April 1, 2008 - 3:49 PM
              **What Americans don't seem to understand about Parisians is that there really is a strongly egalitarian impulse behind the manners which goes back to the revolution**

              I heartily agree. That's exactly the analysis I came up with myself, and I never heard anyone else say it (despite having TONS of experience with France and lots of friends/acquaintances who are similarly experienced)... maybe it took another INFJ to come up with that insight! How cool!

              French people in the service professions aren't trained to be obsequious and fake-friendly, unlike service professionals in the US. If you treat them like a servant, you'll get crappy service (or none), and their boss generally won't think there's anything wrong with that--basically, if you the customer want to be treated well, you have to interact with the service person like he or she is a human being! I once saw an American couple barge into a cafe in Paris and almost YELL their orders, in English, without even saying "bonjour" or "excusez-moi"--they just assumed the guy must speak English, and that he'd understand better if they spoke super-loudly. And I assume that couple went home and complained about how rude the waiter was and what bad service they got. But god, even here, can you imagine French tourists barging into McDonald's and yelling their order in French?! Gah!!!
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Sat, December 16, 2006 - 3:41 PM
      Despite the reputation for rudeness, I've never encountered a rude Parisian in all my trips there. I once asked my host about this reputation. He gave several explanations:

      - the French don't smile as much as Americans. Despite the surly looks of it though, the French simply like to observe more than engage. Some Americans see this as arrogance or aloofness.
      -French people do not want, nor do they have, a lot of friends. Those few that are friends are extremely faithful to one another.
      - the French do say bonjour to shop clerks, butchers, bakers and waiters. This is because the French reputation for good food and good fashion depends on these people. These workers actually hold a huge economic importance to a city and a country that prides itself as an arbiter of taste. Most even have generous worker benefits including a two-year maternity leave. This is because the French would prefer to pay for a well-adjusted French child cared for by his less-stressed mother instead of paying later with overcrowded jails filled with adult victims of past neglect or abuse (and no, this is not meant to imply that working moms are bad moms. But there are certain stressors that only working mothers experience). This social common sense approach to child care has been credited with keeping French violence extremely low. Unfortunately, the approach falls short with newer immigrant populations.
      - The French actually like Americans but they don't like the US government. They don't much like the French government either, for that matter. Sometimes, some individuals get confused and hold American tourists responsible for American policies. It's rare because really, the French would prefer to have you spend your money. Rudeness costs money.

      Of course these are generalizations, but this is how it was explained to me the rude reputation that I've only ever heard about. But there are definite similarities to INFJ personality type.

      INFJs do hold up quite well in Paris because Parisians take their alone time very seriously. There is nothing wrong there with simply sipping a cup of coffee and watching passersby for hours on end. Some French sit with their coffee, smoke a cigarette and read a book or a newspaper. Here in America, the idea is to rush like crazy, to have a lot of "friends," to always be actively doing something and to multitask all while swearing by a "healthy" no-carb diet. Yet several studies have shown that despite their faults, the French are actually more productive in the workplace than Americans and they live longer than any other place in the world except Japan. Apparently that alone time is their culture's collective way to rebound and reinvigorate.

      Sound familiar?

      Now, that said, as an INFJ, I find that it is less about WHERE I am and more a matter of WHO I am.
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Tue, April 1, 2008 - 3:58 PM
        **INFJs do hold up quite well in Paris because Parisians take their alone time very seriously. There is nothing wrong there with simply sipping a cup of coffee and watching passersby for hours on end. **

        You just described my life in Paris. :-) That, and browsing bookstores, and so on.
        I had a great time there.
        And back in the States, when my husband and I were buying a house, one of my dealbreaker criteria was that it had to be within walking distance of at least one cafe.

        As for smiling, French people don't smile unless they mean it. This has gotten countless young American women in trouble there--Americans are socialized to smile any time we accidentally make eye contact with someone; not smiling is rude. But if you smile at a stranger in France, it's perceived as either weird or as a come-on. A French woman wouldn't smile at a man walking past in the street unless she actually wanted to interact with him. So if an American woman smiles at a French man, he literally thinks she likes him, so if he's interested, boom, he comes over and tries to ask her out. This makes American women feel harassed. Humorously enough, French men often feel pleasantly harassed in the States: I've heard several times about French men who feel like women are making passes at them the minute they get off the plane--they feel like American women are coming on to them constantly, because to a French person, that's literally what it means to smile at a stranger (of the opposite sex and appropriate age group) in the street. It takes some time and experience in the US for French men to stop feeling that way, to adjust to the fact that smiling at strangers means something else here than it does in France.
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Tue, April 15, 2008 - 2:58 PM
        Right on! Despite people telling me before I went to Paris that people were rude there, I never found that to be the case. In fact, I got along just fine there for the reasons outlined above, and I stayed on a month or so longer than I had planned on my long journey.
        As far as places, it depends on one's own situation and preferences. One can have a very peaceful place in the midst of a large city, the way I do now here in SF, or in a small town, it can seem like everyone is living in your pocket, something I don't like at all. But I like to retreat to rural environments from time to time. I did live in a small rural place growing up, and I couldn't wait to get out of there, preferring the cultured cities instead. For 12 years, I lived in New Mexico outside of Santa Fe, which is wonderful to retreat to, but in the last few years there, the small-town mentality got to me, despite the peace and quiet. Now, as I say, I have some peace and quiet here at home, but have selective stimulation when I need it, plus the extreme convenience of things.
  • Unsu...

    Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Thu, December 28, 2006 - 7:12 PM
    I'd say anywhere that isn't overly stimulating or demanding on the senses for my own part.
    I've always been drawn to random wanderings through the woods or just nature in general. My ideal 'retirement' is a quaint and cozy lodge-type place out in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by endless expanses of woodlands with a good store of essentials for exploring it all, a few companions (love huskies & mals), and some reading and writing; I prefer to bring the library home :)

    I'd go with some of what the rest of us have written; I think it's largely dependant upon interests in particular.
    That and an underlying sense for the more 'relaxing' and perhaps moderated things.
    Definitely not an extreme sports type, though I've enjoyed free climbing.
    I've been a few places in the world and it's the same everywhere I've gone. A need to explore vegetated areas and visit cultural/historic/religious sites with an avoidance for the overwhelming environment that is the bar/club scene or packed stadium, etc.
    Mostly, home is cozy and comforting enough for me whenever I go somewhere away from nature (i.e. - cities).
    • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Thu, May 17, 2007 - 8:52 AM
      I just wanted to say I found the topic interesting
      • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

        Thu, May 17, 2007 - 9:49 AM
        In a closet, in the dark, all alone. Just kidding. I live in LA, prolly not the best place for me. I haven't found the overall ideal place yet, but I'm always able to find some happy pocket no matter where I am.
        • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

          Thu, May 17, 2007 - 10:24 AM
          I've been fantasizing about living somewhere in Oregon or Washington state. Or just taking to the open road and driving off into the sunset.
          • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

            Sat, May 19, 2007 - 9:11 AM
            i got the itch to move from LA up to Seattle a couple of years ago. I think Seattle has a strong NF thing going politics, music, the weather during the winter makes everyone reclusive, and the spring and summers are absolutely beautiful... I like it here. :)
            • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

              Mon, May 21, 2007 - 10:01 AM
              That's cool. My stepbrother lives up there. What do you notice different between LA and Seattle, except for the fact that LA has no football team?
              • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                Tue, May 22, 2007 - 8:35 PM
                I think the cultural values of the people here are different (in general) than in LA. Here there seems to be a subtle struggle between maintaining blue-collar roots and modernization. LA is much more image-based, rat-racy, I think. Seattlelites (at least the ones I've talked to) seem to pride themselves on their intelligence / substance more than appearance. There is a modesty found here ... that is less valued in LA. Of course, that is not true for all - but is a general observation I've made.

                Also, there is more importance placed on protecting / preserving the environment. It really is beautiful here. Flying into LA after having been gone for almost a year, I was dismayed by the lack of trees and the miles and miles of grey buildings and pavement and brown skies. I'd lived in Southern California my entire life before a couple years ago ... it's always interesting what you notice when you're not immersed in the same environment after a long "hiatus."

                I certainly miss the ocean and sunshine in CA ...but I find the lively music, film, food, and book cultures/communities here stimulating and different from LA. Can't beat the stunning forests and lakes here, either. Seattle's got a smaller city feel than LA - but is still large enough for bustling activity and excitement. Some of my favorites are the cultural festivals and outdoor movies / music shows in the summer ... and of course Sundays spent at the farmers market or walking around the streets downtown (checking out the art galleries, bookstores, etc.). It kind of reminds me of a cross between Santa Monica and Chicago (and maybe a little downtown San Diego Gaslamp Quarter thrown in the mix).

                And...there are actual seasons here - that's different! :) My appreciation for the sun (especially during the winter / early spring months) has grown IMMENSELY! Late spring, summer, and early fall are absolutely gorgeous (and warm!).
                • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

                  Wed, May 23, 2007 - 10:17 AM
                  You should work for the tourism board there. I'm sure I would love it. Love Chicago, love San Diego, my favorite town in LA is Santa Monica. I'm not into the whole LA image, but I will say that my fashion sense has improved since I moved here from Colorado.
          • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

            Mon, May 21, 2007 - 1:37 PM
            Oregon or Washington would be okay if they were warmer. And had better beaches. As-is they're jus ttoo friggin cold for me in the winter. I just got back from New Hampshire last week where it was in the low 40's and raining the whole week. It's sunny and 90 at home. It's good to be back :)
            • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

              Mon, May 21, 2007 - 1:38 PM
              AMEN to that. I love the sun & can't live with gray and foggy weather.
              • Hi,
                As I have paddle across a pond, I could not help feeling intriguing by this exchange and wanted to contribute. In my world ‘home’ is a feeling that is directly related to family and friends, whichever continent they are living on. It is the creation of the social ambience where you and I interchangeably touches of the soul of each other, trusting the other into the poorly lit corners of our mind. Hence, also a willingness from ourselves to live the play, be moved, emotionally as well as literally. A question of resonating with other people that transcendent the frame of culture, whether that being ‘American’, ‘Asian’, ‘European’, ‘African’ etc. The indefinable creation, which lies between the you and I. Although, I do of course acknowledge that some cultural praxis’ (and landscapes) are more favourable for INFJs to unfold their lives in than others like the Scandinavian countries and New Zealand.
                I am reaching a new exciting shore; heavily valuing the life guards I have found but still questing for more. Of course, work life contributes to the feeling of ‘home’ as well. I recon I have been incredible fortunate to have found a supervisor in my new country, whom recognizes the idiosyncrasies of my mind’s wiring to the point of making me feel embarrassed. Coincidentally, however, I am sure it has made my transition so much easier. Being acknowledged may be one of the seeds from, which my feeling of ‘home’ grows, the cultural context as an expression of the cultivator and hence, likelihood for it to mature.
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Mon, March 31, 2008 - 9:02 AM
    I once spent 6 weeks in Newfoundland Canada in May for an artist residency. All I had to do for that time, was feed myself and make art. Yes....!

    Newfoundland (especially the Gros Morne UNESCO park) is stunningly beautiful! There are so few people, and the landscape so unique that one feels like they are at the edge of the world! Yet, the main towns (Corner Brook) has a movie theatre, various cafes and health food stores.

    The time I spent there was the happiest of my adult life. Crazy happy. I think that it's a great place to visit.
  • Re: Happiest places for INFJs

    Tue, April 8, 2008 - 7:54 PM
    I love DC... I grew up there, and it appeals for my J need for action, I guess. Everyone's always "on a mission" (even though I often disagree with their missions!) I also feel that the city NEEDS more NFs...too many stone-cold types around there making really important decisions! Someone's got to make sure politics has some integrity.
    • Unsu...

      Re: Happiest places for INFJs

      Sat, April 12, 2008 - 6:00 AM
      the IDEAL happiest place i would like to be in, is living in a quaint little house surrounded by acres of greenery and patches of herb garden nearby. in isolation. free from people. just me, some wild faunas (friendly ones), and the plants....