Advertisement

INJF Men and Women

topic posted Fri, September 25, 2009 - 4:25 PM by  Unsubscribed
Share/Save/Bookmark
How different are they?
In what ways?


And I mean from each other, not the world.
posted by:
Unsubscribed
Advertisement
  • Ed
    Ed
    offline 1

    Re: INJF Men and Women

    Fri, September 25, 2009 - 10:27 PM
    Tough question Shif. I will answer as best I can.

    INFJ men are at a slight disadvantage because most males are "supposed" to be tough minded. We therefore will appear less like warm people like INFJ women, since women are "supposed" to be feely. We will likely APPEAR to be more angry a lot (at least me), even though we just talk with a strong voice.

    INFJ men are slightly nerdy and generally won't fit in. However, we have a few friends as loyal as dogs (at least I do). So if you ever need a place to crash in the city at night, the INFJ will have a friend or group that is loyal, and not just acquaintances.

    INFJ women, from what I see, are generally the best looking. I am not saying this to make any of the INFJ women here feel better, it just is a fact. They are very self conscious and will be nice and talk to even the ugliest guy. They appear to be submissive and open and quiet, and all the guys want to get to know them (mentally, spiritually, and definitely physically).

    INFJ men will appear rough and cold compared to INFJ women, but the men are longing to be hugged, but women are given bad body signals not to go near them.
    • Re: INJF Men and Women

      Sun, September 27, 2009 - 7:57 AM

      "INFJ men will appear rough and cold compared to INFJ women, but the men are longing to be hugged, ...."

      Ed,

      This is really spot on. I think both INFJ men and women are loyal and affectionate. INFJ men will appear like INTJs - aloof and unapproachable, which is primarily because they fear concealing their sensitivity. But once they trust you, you have it for life (unless you intentionally break it, of course).

      I was wondering what type would be the INFJ's best match? Is it the ENFP or ESTJ?

      According to socionics, INFJ + ESTJ = Duality. It is the best possible relationship for survivability and psychological fulfillment. During the first stage, problems can quickly arise since the INFJ is not used to the ESTJ's extremely direct, logical approach, no nonsense & little room for intuition. In contrast, the ESTJ can be surprised by the INFJ's hypersensitivity. And since both are Judgers, decision making becomes even more difficult. However, if they have successfully understood each other's traits, tasks will be divided in a way that a partner covers the other partner's weaknesses.

      According to personalitypage.com, INFJ + ENFP = natural partnership. I call it intense intimacy. Both share the same idealistic and romantic views. The INFJ with strong Judging tendencies will keep the ENFP focused. Meanwhile, the ENFP will drag the INFJ out of their shells to enjoy life spontaneously.

      This is just my personal view, but ENFP FTW. I believe intuition coupled with feeling will keep many NFs dedicated to their relationships.

      • Unsu...
         

        Re: INJF Men and Women

        Sun, September 27, 2009 - 9:01 AM
        One of my best best friends is an ENFP and I completely agree with this:
        "According to personalitypage.com, INFJ + ENFP = natural partnership. I call it intense intimacy. Both share the same idealistic and romantic views. The INFJ with strong Judging tendencies will keep the ENFP focused. Meanwhile, the ENFP will drag the INFJ out of their shells to enjoy life spontaneously.

        This is just my personal view, but ENFP FTW. I believe intuition coupled with feeling will keep many NFs dedicated to their relationships. "

        However- I think this type of relationship tends to turn into a parent/child role or situation. In fact being called on to make the decisions, and trying to keep the ENFP focused frustrates me. Also ENFP types are very engaged with everyone and this can make the INFJ feel unappreciated and sometimes not very unique or special to the ENFP. I also get easily frustrated with tardiness, I find it completely disrespectful and she is always late and sometimes doesn't show up, she has about 150+ close friends and has them over to her home regularly which I find invasive. I love her dearly though and I love to travel with her and sit in coffee shops and dream, analyze and sometimes cuddle. She's a great cuddler and she is genuine with her affection.
        So I think and ENFP makes a great best friend but for me, not a right fit for a partner.

        ESxx I can't deal with well. Communication and understanding is a major issue and the majority of the time I will avoid the conflict and try to communicate in ways to meet their understanding and needs and that feels very empty and not being true to myself. I guess if I met an ESTJ that didn't try to dominate everything with their mundane way of looking at things and could open their minds to wanting to see something a different way and respected that, then maybe I could possibly slightly entertain a relationship with one. I can't hardly be friends with them to be honest and most seem to be Type A personalities and they kinda stress me out. Anyways ESxx is NOT for me. My dad is an ESTP and I'm in business school with a lot of ESxx types. They leave me cold. Just my opinion.
      • Ed
        Ed
        offline 1

        Re: INJF Men and Women

        Sun, September 27, 2009 - 9:00 PM
        Cloud,

        You are looking at some shitty websites.

        INFJ+ESTP=best. I was starting to accept the possibility that ENTP was also quite suitable. However, after being around some ENTP women (very little experience), all the intuition is great at first, but then it NEVER ENDS. It gets to a point that is so boring.

        ENFPs are awesome nice people, but like Shif said, their lack of planning and always introducing me to people I do not know nor care to know is irritable. They tend to be followers and go with the crowd, which I cannot stand.

        ESTJs will not work simply because two judgers can't ever relax together and be themselves. An ESTJ would always put me on edge more so than I already am.

        ESTPs are the best for INFJs, their spontaneity but with a good detailed memory will keep them from always being late and floaty. They are loyal as dogs and work their asses off and definitely do not care what people think about them. I love that.

        They are often HILARIOUS and I try to use some of their humor (I have had both good and bad results).
        • Re: INJF Men and Women

          Mon, September 28, 2009 - 3:56 AM
          I'm not as savvy with Myers Briggs as I am with the Enneagram but in these personality types don't they change a bit with maturity (not necessarily age)? I know in the Enneagram when you begin to understand your own type and respect that and other types you begin to learn and integrate outside the box a bit. And you grow deeper as a person, regardless of your type. You will still have your unique proclivities or slants but you will utilize the gifts of your type more then the challenges (and can communicate and flow better with all types). So an emotionally or chronologically young ENFP and an ENFP who's been through a lot and came out of it will seem quiet a bit different, no?
    • Re: INJF Men and Women

      Wed, September 30, 2009 - 10:57 PM
      "INFJ women, from what I see, are generally the best looking. I am not saying this to make any of the INFJ women here feel better, it just is a fact. They are very self conscious and will be nice and talk to even the ugliest guy. They appear to be submissive and open and quiet, and all the guys want to get to know them (mentally, spiritually, and definitely physically)."

      Thanks Ed ;P
      • Re: INJF Men and Women

        Thu, October 1, 2009 - 2:56 PM
        **"They appear to be submissive and open and quiet, and all the guys want to get to know them"**

        Deedush, I like that you put in 'APPEAR' submissive, open and quiet, LOL!
        I am usually open and almost always 'appear' calm and go with the flow (submissive isn't really in my vocabulary though) but the whole calm and quiet thing 'used to be' 95% on the outside and only a little true on the inside. Now, I'm pretty calm all around - I so love this aging process - but inside the mind is always watching, thinking and processing.

        About the INFJ's looking good I think it may have something to do with the INFJ desire to listen deeply, and connect at a deeper level with another (this sometimes confused others who are only used to this level in intimate relationships). Also, active listening can sometimes appear to others that one is listening because they are lost and naive...kicking in their desire to protect the 'naive waif.'

        Being a female INFJ (or at least my brand) I equate with Kung Fu's drunken style and Colombo. If you appear vulnerable they will never know that your are iron wrapped in cotton and so you get to slip through the world with little interference - yet use the iron if need be.
        [Drunken Style is a great way to confuse multiple opponents. You move in ways that they are not prepared for and it all looks accidental as you are "supposedly" drunk and not of sound mind]
        • Ed
          Ed
          offline 1

          Re: INJF Men and Women

          Thu, October 1, 2009 - 8:15 PM
          1) Deedush did not add "appear" in her quote. That was in my original quote (sorry, I am an accounting major).

          2) Joke of the day- "Boy trapped in refrigerator eats his own foot"-from the movie Airplane-1980

          3) I love career fairs, especially when flirting with attractive recruiters and introducing yourself in the end to one of them as Ferris Buehler.
          • Unsu...
             

            Re: INJF Men and Women

            Thu, October 1, 2009 - 9:51 PM
            1) of course we will give you full credit for flattering all INFJ women or at least I will. I'm a big fan of compliments.

            2) I need some jokes, I'm all out. Makes me sad. My last joke was a play on words about toilet paper and star trek.

            3) I hate career fairs although this year for training purposes they have decided to give accounting students bullet proof vests, handcuffs and fake guns to simulate an IRS raid. All of this ON campus in the afternoon. WHY did I ever switch majors. I had no idea they would possibly give me a weapon. The IRS....they make accountants look SEXY! ROWR ....Avoid your taxes now bitch!


            bump bump chh chicka chickaaa

            Hey also can we still talk about the topic, seriously.....I'm curious....
            • Ed
              Ed
              offline 1

              Re: INJF Men and Women

              Thu, October 1, 2009 - 11:07 PM
              No, lets talk about Tom Cruise jumping on a couch on Oprah.
              • Unsu...
                 

                Re: INJF Men and Women

                Fri, October 2, 2009 - 6:14 AM
                That WAS entertaining.
                What's his MBTI type?
                • Ed
                  Ed
                  offline 1

                  Re: INJF Men and Women

                  Fri, October 2, 2009 - 7:27 PM
                  Tom Cruise:

                  ESTP for sure. Does his own stunts. Spontaneous and definitely does not think deeply on things, i.e. Katie Holmes, Scientology, jumping on a couch.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     

                    Re: INJF Men and Women

                    Fri, October 2, 2009 - 8:19 PM
                    Uhmm....So Ed, do you still think the ESTP is the perfect match for the INFJ?

                    I am no Katie Holmes!
                    • Unsu...
                       

                      Re: INJF Men and Women

                      Fri, October 2, 2009 - 8:25 PM
                      So back on this topic of suitable matches.
                      I think the INFJ woman is better suited to some types than the INFJ man.
                      For example:
                      I can imagine that it would be better for an INFJ woman to be with an ENTP man than an ESTP man, and probably better for an INFJ man to be with an ESTP woman than an ENTP woman.
                      Or what ever gender suits your interests. My point is that INFJ men and women are very different and so a love match concerning type is also going to be different, and I think an INFJ man will find an "S" type a little more appealing (initially) than an INFJ woman will.
                      • Ed
                        Ed
                        offline 1

                        Re: INJF Men and Women

                        Fri, October 2, 2009 - 10:05 PM
                        I am positive.

                        -Tom Cruise is out of CHARACTER (already made this point in Ed's Ten Commandments of Love).

                        -Katie Holmes is out of character as well.

                        -She may not be an INFJ, she is stuck with him because of the Church of Scientology.

                        -Nicole Kidman was an INFJ and a great match for him (except height wise).
          • Re: INJF Men and Women

            Fri, October 2, 2009 - 11:05 AM
            Oops, sorry Ed, I see that was a quote. Credit where credit is due.
            • Unsu...
               

              Re: INJF Men and Women

              Sun, October 4, 2009 - 5:06 PM
              Holy cow, I just realized I posted INJF instead of INFJ.

              I seem to write things backwards and jumbled up lately.

              -sorry.
              No one corrected me...
              Thanks guys!
              • Re: INJF Men and Women

                Wed, October 7, 2009 - 6:47 PM
                Shifting, I didn't correct you because in my humility I wished to respect your creative way of spelling...yeah, so that's not completely true. What is true is that I didn't even notice, lol, my obsessive attention to detail is off its mark this week too.
    • Re: INJF Men and Women

      Sat, November 7, 2009 - 7:08 PM
      "INFJ men will appear rough and cold compared to INFJ women, but the men are longing to be hugged, ...."

      Wow, that is true for me.
      • Re: INJF Men and Women

        Sat, November 7, 2009 - 9:07 PM
        Applies for a friend (male) I had who was INFJ. I was really surprised when he told me...had no idea of the F (I'm sure you learn to hide it). He seemed kind of cold but when he had a panic attack he came and laid his head in my lap and was like SO grateful that I even cared enough to listen. Then he thought he had a thing for me after that, but really just because I guess he didn't get that kind of caring very much. It just seemed normal to me to be there for someone who's freaking out.
  • Re: INJF Men and Women

    Mon, December 7, 2009 - 7:49 PM
    Hmn, okay... considering I don't always know that I have friends who are INFJ & male unless they tell me they took the test and then I ponder it, and it makes sense... I've noticed that they are very sweet. They hardly ever throw around their anger or try to embarrass someone on public. The ones I know do like hugs a lot, and smile regularly. They are very casual in their clothing at times or when they dress up they are like fashionistas (without looking gay). They are genuine about wanting to know "how are you?" instead of it being an overused opener that people say awkwardly sometimes. And they're usually predictable if you have known them long enough.

    INFJ females... well, I'm one! I really like deep conversations that reveal something about the person I'm talking to, without necessarily being invasive. Whenever I am with a big group of people, I'm never one to start a group topic because people tend to want to small talk and I just let them do their thing and listen. My mind is always analyzing and searching for answers. Generally peaceful in my demeanor, I tend to attract a lot of people who want a therapist, but don't want to hire one because they don't trust strangers with their personal business. This can be frustrating because it's not always a give and take relationship, more like a draining one. Once that J part of me kicks in, I just say "sorry, can't do it anymore" and force them to find solutions to their problems instead of just venting about it over and over. I would say that I am very artistic. Some people like art that fits inside molds and expectations, but I push limits and reinvent and do my own thing. People understand that I break "rules" in that way, but I also follow rules to the T, like laws and standards I set for myself in my dealings with other people, etc.

    Great topic by the way!
    • Re: INJF Men and Women

      Tue, December 8, 2009 - 6:25 PM
      )))"My mind is always analyzing and searching for answers. Generally peaceful in my demeanor, I tend to attract a lot of people who want a therapist, but don't want to hire one because they don't trust strangers with their personal business. This can be frustrating because it's not always a give and take relationship, more like a draining one. Once that J part of me kicks in, I just say "sorry, can't do it anymore" and force them to find solutions to their problems instead of just venting about it over and over. I would say that I am very artistic. Some people like art that fits inside molds and expectations, but I push limits and reinvent and do my own thing. People understand that I break "rules" in that way, but I also follow rules to the T, like laws and standards I set for myself in my dealings with other people, etc."(((

      Wow, Nicole sometimes on this tribe I have to look twice to see if I was the one who posted a certain paragraph - like yours here - because it is almost EXACTLY what I would have said. LOL, I was just thinking about this yesterday when I read one of your posts, Shifting.

      It's strange being a bit "different" for so long then reading the exact "difference" in another ...its uncanny. The part about breaking rules in your art but being a letter of the law person was also SO right on as was the rest.
  • Re: INJF Men and Women

    Tue, December 15, 2009 - 7:21 AM
    While I don't believe there to be many cardinal differences between female and male INFJ's, I think there's quite a bit of difference stemming from external sources. In general, the traits of INFJ's are more feminine, thus the lady INFJ is a little bit more socially rewarded than introvert males. It's not a matter of character, just a matter of perception.

    Love is where the subject of difference is most obvious. Even if the love lives of both genders are of equal experience, females tend to have more opportunities to act upon it due to the social expectations of men making the first move. For the very same reason, males are not always as lucky. Also, where the mysterious demeanor may make men assume INFJ women play "hard to get," INFJ guys are just plain intimidating. Sadie Hawkins dance? Yeah, I spent that evening lying on a field and listening to Neil Young because girls are scared of me.

    But I find that male/female dichotomy both fascinating and humorous. The outside world, the one thing INFJ's have absolutely no control over, determines how we are perceived.

Recent topics in "INFJ"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
“Why INFJ and ENTP belong together: The science of love”, Chris 23 December 5, 2014
funny gays Unsubscribed 0 August 21, 2014
Best partner for the INFJ - a NTJ or a NTP? ashley 106 August 19, 2014
ENTP encounters Unsubscribed 8 August 18, 2014