This isn't really an INFJ topic per se, but I am having some trouble differentiating between ENFP and INFP. And I know what I read but most of the people I know who have been tested, as either, are on the border of I/E and so it seems they really go back and forth and I get confused. Do you have some good life examples or explanations as to how the 2 are different? I seek to understand people, not to necessarily put them in a box but it would help to have a better understanding sometimes so I can relate to them better. Thanks for any feedback!
I have a self-proclaimed INFP real-estate teacher. I though he was an INFJ at first, by his intensity.
I guess the difference between an INFP and ENFP is that INFP's tend to come off a little more intense when they talk. Their primary Introverted Feeling function is attributed to this. I have an ENFP brother and one of my best friends is an ENFP. ENFP's come off strong, but not as intense as an INFP.
INFP's, to me at least, tend to be a little more "spiritual", not necessarily in the INFJ theoretical sense, but in the "peaceful aura" they kind of give off.
Watch out though, if they are happy, they are fully happy about something, If angry, fully angry at something, If depressed, fully depressed about something. These emotional extremes again can be attributed to their primary introverted feeling function, which channels through the whole emotional part of their soul.
ENFP's get depressed, but generally keep a happy face over their sad emotions.
Unsu...Thanks Ed! That does make sense and helps.
Is it just me or is INFP/ENFP hard to really tell apart, unless they are really really extroverted or really really introverted. Is your ENFP brother and friend very talkative or only talkative when it's something they have feelings about or are interested in? Both in my experience seem on the same interaction level which is why it throws me off I think. Do you think the E or the I filter information before speaking? I always get the " i don't quite know exactly what your saying" look from both.
My best friend is an ENFP and she gets me, most of the time after some clarification, well lets just say she gets the gist. But we really speak a different language and she talks in circles or doesn't talk at all. The INFP's I know are the same way but I get more looks like - they are trying to figure out what it is exactly that I am saying and how to relate it to themselves.
I've noticed, all people do this but these types seem to do it more, that if you tell them about anything, they relate it to a personal story about themselves and how they felt. Also it seems they are quick to say things like - " well that must really have made you feel _____ " . And I find myself thinking about it and then usually saying... " not really but I can see where you would think that".
I don't like the immediate need to get in my space and relate feelings. I get very defensive with those interactions and start analyzing what it is they are doing and what they want from me.
Maybe I'm just paranoid but there seems to be a need for both types, if they feel a connection there is an immediate need to be 'close".
Am I wrong?
I would love to hear others experiences.
I seem to meet a lot of INFP/ENFP's and there is a connection but then there is this "need" that pushes me away. Maybe it's my defensiveness for individuality or opposition to co dependance. I see both types as having co dependancy issues. But those are my experiences.
ENFPs also tend to say that they know someone you reference. However, when they say they "know someone", it likely means that they met the person once at a party and had a 5 minute conversation with them. ENFPs think they know a person because they surround themselves with so many different kinds of people, so it is likely that they have met a similar kind of person/personality before as the one they are referencing. This is linked to their primary Extroverted Intuition function, which is function with an knack and curiosity for the things of the surrounding environment. Introverted intuition, the primary function of INFJs and INTJs is a knack and curiosity for concepts and ideas, which is why INFJs and INTJs tend to communicate rather easily and understand each other rather easily. The primary difference though, is the Extroverted feeling function of the INFJ, which is how he/she makes his decisions, vs. the INTJs Extroverted Thinking function, which is how the INTJ makes his decisions. Hence, the INFJ more so takes the feelings of others into consideration in decision making, where as the INTJ tends to be more "objective" as to outside (extro) reality in his decision making. Neither is better or worse than the other, since it is relative to the situation.
The big difference comes with the second function. This is why INFPs and ENFPs are so alike. ENFPs secondary function is Introverted Feeling, INFPs second function is exrtoverted intuition. This is similar to INFJs and ENFJs.
The ordering of functions is as follows for the ENFP:
1-4 eN, iF, eT, iS, 5-8 iN, eF, iT, eS
The ordering of functions is as follows for the INFP:
1-4 iF, eN, iS, eT, 5-8 eF, iN, eS, iT
As you can see, the top 4 functions are very similar for both, just arranged differently. Same with the inferior functions.
Understanding the ordering of the functions is vital to understanding communication among types and understanding why certain types seem to fight and disagree amongst each other. This is why many disagreements form between types. Most people just cannot recognize and communicate with people of different type.
I think this stuff will blow your mind if you have not already looked into it. Knowing the ordering of functions can really help you to understand why people act the way they act and can vastly improve communication.
This is why I like ESTPs while much of society does not understand their sporadic nature. I understand better why they think the way they do.
More info on functions upon request.
12/18wow... yeah, totally on the money. As an ENFP, I talk in total circles. I often feel like I'm not making any sense, or I'm constantly loosing my point and going on tangents, but it makes sense to me, and those that have learned to understand me. I've pushed a lot of people away by trying to relate everything they say to myself.
In defense of ENFPs, we're just trying to empathize. We're not trying to compete, or take anything away from your experience, but understand you better by putting ourselves in your place. I've had to learn to ask a question in this situation "Oh, did you find yourself feeling ______?", to keep from offending.
As for the neediness, yeah, co-dependancy seems to be our worst flaw. If I like you, I want to be your best friend right away, I want to spend all my time talking to you until I get distracted by something else. I also want to tell you about everything that interests me. I may text you a picture of something pretty I found, or funny sentence I overheard. I think some ENFPs can become very needy for attention and approval. I think the best thing to do with ENFPs is to be understanding that they can't really help this need to communicate, but maybe affectionately point out that they're being clingy. I'm pretty sure most ENFPs can take a hint, so telling them "Hey, sweetie, you're smothering me." they'll back off, but we are terrified of rejection (at least I am), so you can be blunt, as long as you are loving about it.
Any other ENFP input would be awesome.
Thanks INFJ's for talking about your opinions of ENFP's. I really like INFJs and I want to make sure that I don't scare them away (particularly one).
Unsu...The best difference between E and I, that I can find is that introverted persons tend to have some part of their lives which they hold private. THey would get offended if you disclose some part of their life which they shared only with you. It is not about how well they get along with others. Many introverts can seem like E but you should observe the content of their talk. They can talk about the whole world but never discuss themselves. They can also be evasive when it comes to personal questions or answer falsely.
Unsu...Also observe their style of working. Introverted persons would like to work alone and pay a lot of attention to detail. They also have smaller handwritings, with the letters in a word more closely spaced to each other but the words have a lot of gap between them. That is in a sentence "I have three days to work" the letters t h r e e would be very close to each other but 'have' and 'three' would have a greater space between them. Extroverted persons usually have large handwriting and widely spaced letters.