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Recognize other INFJs?

topic posted Fri, February 8, 2008 - 7:37 AM by  Rachel
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I'm curious whether anyone recognizes other INFJs when they meet them. It's only happened to me once or twice, even though supposedly one out of a hundred is INFJ.
posted by:
Rachel
Virginia
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  • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

    Sat, February 16, 2008 - 3:11 PM
    Hi, I'm Jane, and I am new to this group. I work in psychology, and at one job, they did a Meyer-Briggs company retreat, and everyone took the test. Strangely, there was a disturbing number of ENTJ's working as psychiatric clinicians, and us INFJ's were STILL in the minority, in a field where we belong! Anyways, turns out one gal I worked side by side with was an INFJ, and another close co-worker was an INFP. But I don't think we recognized each other, partly because we were all laying low, due to the extroverted-thinking dominance there. But after we found out, we 3 actually got closer.... we could just look at each other, and know that the other was thinking the same thing when the "field marshals" were doing their thing!
    • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

      Sun, March 23, 2008 - 9:51 PM
      I haven't recognized other people as being INFJ since I was introduced to Myer Briggs, but I can also attest that INFJ's are difficult to recognize, having been mistaken for an extrovert. I have also mistaken an ENFP for an ENTJ.
  • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

    Fri, February 22, 2008 - 8:20 PM
    i don't think i can recognize them right away, but most people i feel a deeper connection after getting to know each other seem to be infj!...so perhaps i do subconciously...

    love&light
    ASue
    • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

      Fri, February 22, 2008 - 10:05 PM
      You check them out from afar
      by using your psychic powers
      in the privacy of your own home.

      Then after you're sure you ask
      somebody else what the person's
      birthdate is so you can judge the
      person's astrological chart... :-)
      • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

        Wed, February 27, 2008 - 5:46 AM
        Very humorous Mark :-) Some time ago, a man stroke up a conversation with me on the tram in Wellington, NZ. We were both on vacation, and ended up spending the rest of the day together. We talked about everything and were completing each other sentences by the afternoon. It turns out he is an INFJ, but I am pretty sure it was just a coincidence, he just wanted the empty seat across me! He is now a close friend. The INFJs are bound to hide out there somewhere!
  • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

    Wed, February 27, 2008 - 11:02 AM
    Hi Rachel,

    My experience is this: I rarely recognize INFJs when I meet them. The clues and subtle variations are just pretty vast with our type. I have more luck when it just flashes to me for no reason but when that happens I can not share any observational commonality; it's just a flash and it's not always even right though usually it is. I've also experienced that most people who say they are INFJs really are mistyped, including some type professionals who claim to have INFJ as their best fit type after (supposed) much personal inquiry and investigation. The official instrument is less than 75% accurate (god knows the percent for un-normed knock-offs on the net) so no one can take the instrument and say, "I'm an XXXX" and expect to be taken seriously. My instrument 31 years ago showed me as an INTJ (Jung said one's type did not change during the course of a person's life so it isn't that I was an INTJ and somehow became INFj, it's that in my case the instrument was incorrect.)

    It's been a long road and taken REALLY HARD WORK to study Jung and his Type Torch Bearers to sort it all out, really examine - and not in a cursory way my motives for my actions and why I am not as eager at the gate to promote harmony at all costs like some of the PT Barnum INFJ blurbs would suggest.

    I'd say that for me, being certain about the temperment allowed the rest to more easily fall into place and there are various other systems that type people in differing qualities but those qualities often correlate to the matrix of the 16 types. Telling an NF for me is fairly flawless as is E/I in most cases. Another important thing to remember is that male and female INFJs will have differences if only because INFJ men are living in a culture where F is valued in women but looked at with worry in men. We men may overcompensate for this.

    And while everyone who has a deeper understanding has concurred with my best fit type INFJ, one type professional was pretty adament that I was mistyped. But really there is a kind of etiquette in the Type community: after you have done your homework and have made a clear decision that XXXX is your best fit type, most courteous professionals do not tell you you are wrong (even though they may think it so.) It's just so personal a thing that really does not lend itself well to observed actions because type is so much more about motives for those actions. Several Types my share similar observable actions but they have different (undecrnable) motives.

    And don't bet the homestead that the 1 in a hundred (and of course the super rare .4 in 100 male INFJs) is correct. Either I draw them to me or am drawn by them, but the percentage is significantly higher than 1% based on my encounters. I don't know if studies have been done on this and if they have how good they are.

    A kind of weird action I've started to do in irc chat rooms, even sex chat rooms, is to just blurt out in open channel "what is everyone's MBTI?" I' ve been doing this for a year now and have yet to have anyone come up with SJ or SP temparments. I have no reason I can honestly say why this is so for me except sheer conjecture but you might want to play with it. It appears (without having any real study done) that NTs and NFs are more likely to know their types than SJs or SPs. I found this to be true at Type seminars I attended years ago for Roman Catholic clergy (mostly nuns) the SP tables in particular were way under represented and the E side of the room was roaring while the I side (where I sat thinking back then I was INTJ) was a pretty stony silence. The INTJs seemed to be the most stony though and that is when I first felt uncomfortable with the accuracy of my instrument indicated type.

    Today I rarely mistype an INTJ or especially an INTP. But that is in person observing and interacting with them some over a while. It's fun to try to type people on the internet but even the ones who tell me they are XXXX besides insufficient information, most of them lie about all the other details they give out; I can't figure a good reason to not expect them to lie about their type as well.

    I know I went lots further than your question opened the door for and hope you do not mind that I broadened it by sharing more of my experiences than you specifically asked for.


    ZZ
    • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

      Tue, March 18, 2008 - 1:48 PM
      To Rachel: When I first started learning about MBTI I rather excitedly talked everyone I knew into taking tests, and was initially surprised to find out that folks who had been my closest friends with for many, many years turned out to be other INFJ's and INFP's. I think we subconsciously recognize that these other folks are "like us" and are drawn together.

      ------------------

      Zed: "It's just so personal a thing that really does not lend itself well to observed actions because type is so much more about motives for those actions. Several Types my share similar observable actions but they have different (undecrnable) motives."

      I think that's an important thing to remember. It's difficult to judge what's going on in someone's head based on observing their actions, since lots of folks learn to mask their behavior. For instance, I work in an industry (gov't/military) that greatly seems to value ENTJ's, so lo and behold at work my behavior mimics that of an ENTJ in order to "fit in" and succeed. Sometimes people are very surprised to find that I'm an introvert.

      Zed: "I' ve been doing this for a year now and have yet to have anyone come up with SJ or SP temparments."

      I think that in this case at least you might not be polling a truly representative sample of the population. I suspect that the NT and NF folks are the ones who are more attracted to an online environment in the first place, so you come across a disproportionate number of them.

      Kinda like doing a study of what the dominant religion of an area is by polling people as they leave a Catholic church and then concluding that 100% of the general polulation is Catholic. Your conclusions are valid based on your sample (i.e., 1005 of the people leaving the Catholic church were Catholic), but it's not representative enough to make a generalization about the entire polulation.

      Talking about MBTI makes things even more disproportionately skewed. I dated a gal who was (I think) an ISFJ, and she had no interest whatsoever in learning about her or anyone else's personality types. She thought the whole thing was stupid and pointless. If she was in one of your chat groups, she'd ignore the question and move on to talk about something "less boring" like, I dunno, which celebrities look fat in their current pregnancies.

      Zed: "most courteous professionals do not tell you you are wrong (even though they may think it so.)"

      I agree with this policy. After all, does it really make any difference if someone thinks they're a type that they aren't? If thinking that makes 'em happy, I say let 'em think that. Is it really hurting anything? Particularly in terms of an internet discussion as opposed to a counseling session.

      It's like arguing about the difference between Crayola's Blue-Green crayon and their Green-Blue crayon they're pretty darn close but they are slightly differen. However, if someone points to a color on a poster and wants to call it Green-Blue and I think it's really Blue-Green then our disagreement probably does not signify the end of the world (no matter which of us is correct) and I don't see a lot of sense in breaking out Munsell color charts to settle the point.
      • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

        Thu, March 20, 2008 - 1:54 PM
        Interesting. I wonder why SJs/SPs seem less likely to know their type/give a crap about it? I don't seem to ever relate to these types at all, I usually find them mystifying. NFs I tend to really get; NTs I can get on a rational level though I eventually get frustrated with their dispassionate analyses of things. I find it fascinating and I wish everybody would walk around with their MBTI on their shirts. :-)
        • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

          Fri, April 11, 2008 - 4:18 PM
          Why SHOULD "S types" give a crap, they are in the majority! I once, many moons ago, signed up for eHarmony.... got a whole 5 matches in 6 months, and that was only after I expanded the search to the entire United States! If you figure my 1% personality type and my 1% IQ had something to do with it, then someone with a more common type, like a 14% ISFJ, would have probably gotten over 50 matches.
          • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

            Sat, April 12, 2008 - 9:06 AM
            hehe...they should give a crap so they can understand our awesomeness!! jk, that's a pipe dream...eharmony gave me NOTHING by the way, I eventually gave up. I think I had it set to 100 mile radius...I felt pretty rejected and freakish. Not a good self-esteem booster, that site!
            • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

              Fri, April 18, 2008 - 9:45 AM
              Waylon: "I dated a gal who was (I think) an ISFJ, and she had no interest whatsoever in learning about her or anyone else's personality types. She thought the whole thing was stupid and pointless. If she was in one of your chat groups, she'd ignore the question and move on to talk about something "less boring" like, I dunno, which celebrities look fat in their current pregnancies."

              My current GF is also ISFJ and she does not care about researching personality stuff at all. When I first started, she got tired of me talking about it all the time- she said she didn't want to type or "label" people, and she would rather find out for herself what they are like. After I showed her the description for ISFJ's though, which matched her so well, she got really interested and wanted to know more about them. Knowing her, I think she wanted to know more about ISFJ's so she could figure out how to improve herself.
              • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

                Fri, April 18, 2008 - 11:04 AM
                I was unaware that INFJ was a rare result. This explains the fact that I rarely meet anyone who shares my view of the world, and when I do, I feel as though I have known them for eons.
              • Re: Recognize other INFJs?

                Fri, April 18, 2008 - 12:48 PM
                Silas: "she said she didn't want to type or "label" people"

                It's kind of funny you mention that, but my ex said pretty much the same thing. Personally, I don't see a personality type as a "label" at all, it's just a description. Why is it that some people get so upset by the idea of being a defined personality type? They don't seem to get upset if you describe them as, say "tall" or "funny". It's not as if one type is "better" than another or that they can be ranked in any way. Is it that some folks are strongly tied to the idea that they are unique and that there could not possibly be anyone else like them out there?

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