INFJ's topics - tribe.net

Best partner for the INFJ - a NTJ or a NTP?

ashley — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:08:54 GMT

Have you had any real-life experience? which relationship has more chances of success?

posted in INFJ - 75 replies

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

shifting4now — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 01:59:08 GMT

I hope that everyone has a safe holiday and a blessed New Year!

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

INFJ's with other INFJ's?

Tom — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:10:23 GMT

I have recently discovered after many years that I am an INFJ, it is quite a relief to finally know why I am the way I am.
It has occurred to me that I've only truly believed that this is the way I am after interacting with another INFJ. For years I had thought I was odd and could never fit, could never really relate to others, partly because they would never understand who I was. Finally I meet someone which is extremely similar, and can finally relate! Its Great! She can offer me something that no one else could. Its really amazing to be able to talk with someone who can really understand where your at. I would really like to know any one's opinion on this as I'm confused in what to do, can you be friends? can a relationship work between two people with the same personality? Or similar? Thanks!

TOM

posted in INFJ - 11 replies

Interesting INFJ personality facts

Ed — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:20:39 GMT

Found these at this link:

http://www.ransdellassociates.com/INFJ.htm

Some interesting facts about INFJ personality types:

Most important feature of an ideal job: "Use of my special abilities." Source: MBTI Applications, 1996, by A.L. Hammer.

In national sample, highest in reporting stress associated with "Work, "Intimate relationship," "School," and "Other." Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

In national sample, highest in coping with stress by "Talking to a professional." Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

In national sample, ranked highest in being dissatisfied with "Marriage/intimate relationship" Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

In national sample "Leisure Activities," overrepresented in "Writing" and "Appreciating art"; underrepresented in "Watching sporting events." Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

Academic subjects preferred: art, English, music. Source: I.M. Myers & M.H. McCaulley in Manual: A guide to the development and use of the MBTI, 1985.

Among highest college persisters. Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

3 top work characteristics favored in national sample: "Variety of tasks," "Clear structure," and "Independence & achievement"; lowest of all types in liking work environments with "Opportunities for advancement & high pay but not job security." Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

In national sample, dissatisfied with "Promotions" and "Salary" in their jobs. Source: MBTI Manual, 1998

With ISTPs, ranked first among all the types in using spiritual/philosophical coping resources. Source: J. Shelton, in MBTI Applications by A.L. Hammer, 1996.

Among the 3 male types most "oblivious" to partner's dissatisfaction with the relationship. Source: N.L. Quenk & A.T. Quenk, in MBTI Applications by A.L. Hammer, 1996

posted in INFJ - 1 reply

INFJs on ESTPs

ashley — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:40:09 GMT

How do you find ESTPs? (apart from activating, energizing, etc.) Do you manage to reach some common language with them or at least to get along for a while?

posted in INFJ - 14 replies

INFJ Immature & Mature

shifting4now — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:54:07 GMT

I posted a similar question in a response on a previous post but thought I might get more feedback this way.

What do you think the differences are between an immature INFJ and a mature INFJ.
Also feel free to include other types immature and mature behavior.

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

INJF Men and Women

shifting4now — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 23:25:28 GMT

How different are they?
In what ways?

And I mean from each other, not the world.

posted in INFJ - 24 replies

Personality Type Bias in the Media

Ed — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:04:38 GMT

I do not watch much TV anymore, but everytime I do, I see bias towards certain personality types. The most shown types from what I perceive are:

Females: ESFJ, ISFJ, ISTJ, ESTP, INFJ

Males: ESTP, INTP, ESFJ, ENFP, ISTP

The most common personality types of married couples in commercials and TV shows are the Wife being ESFJ and Husband being INTP.

Maybe I am wrong. I believe these are the most shown types because they are the most representative of the American population.

I feel that the media wants everyone to conform to these "ideal" types.

This bias I feel contributes to certain types of people having a harder time fitting in to society, because they feel that they must conform to these types shown on TV, lest they face criticism from others.

I believe types such as the INTP female, INFJ male, ISFP male and females are under-represented, and thus may seem like different people when met in real life.

Please type up some thoughts on the subject if you so please.

posted in INFJ - 16 replies

lists

shifting4now — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:58:53 GMT

Today a friend asked me if I needed anymore custom notepads with my name on it. She gave me 12 last christmas and I really loved how personal it was. But I have only used 2 out of the 12 pads since last December. It made me aware of the fact that I am not a big "list maker" or "note taker".
I have noticed on other posts and threads that a lot of INFJ's make lists.
Do you think this is common/uncommon?

I will admit I write things down sometimes so I wont forget it but I always put it in my planner where the pages don't come out or get lost.
I have used the notepads in my car when I need to leave someone a note.

Which kind of leads me to another question. Do people give you gifts that show you how they perceive you and it draws your attention to the fact that they don't know you very well, but it must be something you are projecting? Maybe I read too much into "perceptions", mine and others.
BTW - I do graciously accept all gifts given to me because I think it's more sentiment than anything else and for someone to even take the time or energy to give me a personal gift is very considerate.

posted in INFJ - 0 replies

We Are 1% of the Population...

Darkrider — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 23:19:32 GMT

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html

other links (or proof)?? :)

posted in INFJ - 49 replies

Are the holidays difficult for anyone else?

shifting4now — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:56:25 GMT

I mean in the sense that after this weekend, I am completely drained. I even caught a cold.
My weekends are usually a lot more draining than my weekdays because of family, friends & activities, and I love the time we spend together but mondays I always feel hung over and after this past holiday weekend, I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Does anyone have any advice or tricks up their sleeve on how to deal with the draining experience of the holidays? I think it's kinda stressful for most people, but do you think introverts have a harder time with all the get togethers, parties, family and friends and the general frenzy of the holiday season. I also think it can be a very depressing time of year which is a double whammy.
Is there a manual for introverts on surviving the holidays?

I just want to go soak in my tub for the next 3 months and emerge into spring relaxed and renewed.
I need to figure out a plan of action and I don't think hibernation is realistic.
: (

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Floodgates

Rachel — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:54:39 GMT

I have two positions: open and closed. Anyone else have this problem? I don't even realize it's a problem until I try to date someone who has boundaries (gasp!) and gets really annoyed by it. I'm not sure I can really have a relationship at this point because it really messes things up. But as hard as I've tried for years, I can't quite figure out how to moderate like a "normal" person.

posted in INFJ - 12 replies

another I.N.F.P/ I.N.F.J 'thing'

Libra — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:09:08 GMT

So I read one thread, and a few others on this combination. But it has not unfogged my cloudy mind (and his, apparently) on our 'relationship' (or lack of).
INFJ seems relationship phobique. I still have no clue why. I have these questions, is he gay, does he not like me enough, not see himself married, or want things slooow?
Seems like INFJ has no sense of time; timeless. I think if I get with him, we'd probably be old and brittle, and then we'd set to meet again in our next life.

Is "soul" relationship the theme of infp/infj?
I do not want to detail everything on our pseudo-yet-not-so-pseudo relationship, though I jolly well could. There's just so much to write.

My INFJ man prefers an internet commune. As in he will be there daily without fail, to wait for me, and gets mad if I don't meet him.
He uses not words, but "actions", to communicate with me. As I am not decidedly piscean or telepathic, and I like Earthiness and cncrete, it is irritating the hell out of me, but I cannot do anything about it. It is like I am trapped in a web, that I cannot extricate myself from, neither moving forward nor leaving altogether.

INFJ man likes the vacuum, the feel of neither 'here nor there', the up in the air feel. Like there is no spoken promise, but I still have to treat it like I am seeing him exclusively. Because if my emotions wander, he can feel it, and he will get sad and show it.

Can someone enlighten me on what kind of relationship is this? Apparently, from various places I read, this is quintessentially a INFP INFJ matching. Just that as an FP, I need a bit more grounding, not to be whizzed in a floatation device in a non-reality.

I also read that INFJ take relationships seriously. However, so seriously such that no move shalt be made at all, even?

posted in INFJ - 10 replies

INFJ needs space

bigheart — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:27:51 GMT

I'm an ISTJ who has fallen for an INFJ. (With the exception of my introversion, my other preferences are midzone, so I'd like to think I can understand - using this term loosely - INFJ traits.) We've been dating for about 5 months now and everything was going great. About 3 weeks ago something happened (I cannot say what) that left me totally confused. I didn't think it was a big deal, but he did. After a couple of talks, he said that we could try again, but that he was going to need some time to get over this. He said that we would still talk, but so far it's only been superficial text messages. One of us will usually text every couple days just to say hi and the other replies to say hi, but not much more. I haven't seen him in two weeks.

Early on, we both agreed that we shared a unique and immediate connection that neither of us have ever felt before. And as much as it kills me to wait, I'm determined to give him the space that he needs, because I feel we had something real. Being both J's, I think we both have a need to make a decision, so I don't think that he would leave me hanging. Although when days pass without hearing from him, I can sometimes feel that way.

My question is... how much time does he need? Could this go on for months?

posted in INFJ - 27 replies

INFJ-ENTP interaction

revolushawn — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 03:14:29 GMT

OK. Here's the deal.

First, I'm not an INFJ but an ENTP. Sorry for 'invading' this space.

According to one theory on type relationships, folk have the greatest chance of deeply and dynamically connecting or falling/staying in love with people who are their 'complements': all letters different except the second letter the same.

The idea is that all the differences keep things interesting, but the commonality in the perception function (i.e. iNtuitive or Sensatory) assures shared understanding of what apects of life matter.

This ISTJ--ESFP.
Or ESFJ--ISTP.

Or ENTP--INFJ.

etc.

Do you buy this theory or do you think it's silly?

What has been your experience with relating to ENTPs?

(I ask this question cuz i'm wondering whether my best chance of ever falling in love is if i meet an INFJ, or whether i should stop trying to find systematicity in the alchemical realm of the heart ;^)

Thanks =)

--Shawn

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
--Audre Lorde

posted in INFJ - 33 replies

How to you know when to end a relationship?

Rachel — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 01:34:27 GMT

If you know it's not a "forever" thing, do you end it when you start drifting apart? Or do you spend the time together because you get along and gain from the other? How do you know when you've gotten everything from it that you should? Or am I overanalyzing once more?

posted in INFJ - 26 replies

Social phobia

Júlio — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 02:16:08 GMT

Does anyone here suffer (or think so) from social phobia (social anxiety)?

posted in INFJ - 24 replies

Could INFJs be thought of as "bad asses"?

Ed — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 23:43:16 GMT

Is there a such thing as a "bad ass" INFJ?

I think so.

Bad Ass INFJs:

-Marting Luther King Jr.
-Sidney Portier (African American actor)
-Ed

Feel free to comment/list others.

posted in INFJ - 27 replies

ISxx interactions

shifting4now — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 18:28:38 GMT

I know a few people and a close friend who are ISxx. My friend is an ISFJ, I work with an ISTJ and I know a few ISxx.
I am curious if anyone else finds the IS type to be very assertive,sometimes very aggressive and definitely more of a type A personality.
They seem very intense in leisure and work.
I would like to know others experiences of interactions with this type to see if I am off base in my perception.

I would never call an ISxx laid back, but maybe it's just the ones I know?

posted in INFJ - 16 replies

INFJ mothers / parents

shifting4now — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 03:14:40 GMT

I am curious how other INFJ mothers parent. I have a 5 yr old son and I notice how differently I parent than most other people. In fact it is constantly pointed out to me by family and friends. I have 3 piles of parenting books that have been gifted to me. Ironically these same people tell me what a great parent I am.

I am very protective, but I allow my son his freedom to make his own choices and mistakes. He is very into sports and has A LOT of energy so I encourage whatever activity he is interested in even if it's something I have no interest in. I will say that I am very critical of my spouse and other people if they have to be responsible for him and I usually will take care of everything myself, I don't trust them to do the right thing. I am very involved in his school activities and go over all his work he brings home and if there is something I don't understand then I will ask his teachers the next day. I save all his work in file folders and hang his art everywhere. If he says a teacher scolded him then I will ask her why and I will always question adults involved if he has an issue. I notice most people trust the adults over the child. I tell them that he is my child and they are basically a stranger, why would I trust them over him? We have a very strange and trusting relationship and we both feel each others moods and compensate, he also will say things out loud that I am thinking or feeling and vice versa. He is very much a normal 5 year old that gets in trouble, does crazy stunts, says words he knows he shouldn't and sometimes pushes my buttons to pick a fight for amusement, but sometimes I feel like the crazy doting parent and then I remember that this won't last for long and he will be an adult soon. I have to say that I am also adopted and he is my only child and so sometimes I feel as though he is my only real connection to humanity and I know that's not a fair thing to put on another person so I try to really control those thoughts and emotions because I want him to be a very independent, competent and happy person.
I will say that when I was pregnant my doctor asked if I had any fears that I wanted to talk about and I said yes, I have 2.
1. That the baby will be born both genders and I will have to choose which one and I will choose the wrong one and then they will live their whole life trying to be someone they are not and it will be my fault.
- He assured me that wasn't going to happen and they now have some genetic studies that confirm which gender the child is.
2. That I would pour all my heart and energy into someone that will just end up leaving and hating me.

I am curious how other INFJ mothers feel and behave with their children and if I'm just being neurotic.

posted in INFJ - 20 replies

Would appreciate your input...

Deedush — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:11:14 GMT

I m 23 years old. I have never been in a relationship and have not dated much. When I tell this to people, they get weirded out. Do you guys think that this odd? Is this normal of INFJs? If you were dating someone and they told you that they are 23 and have never been in a relationship what do you feel your internal reaction would be? would you be intimidated to be there first?

posted in INFJ - 12 replies

Gesturing with your hands while you speak

shifting4now — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:28:13 GMT

I think it's called "gesticulating" or...I just wanted to say that word :D
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/200904/why-do-we-move-our-hands-when-we-talk-i-finding-the-right-words

I move my hands quite a bit when I talk and I seem to also be very dramatic with my facial expressions. I don't have a very good poker face, I can't hide how I feel even if I tried. Most times I have no idea that I am making a face about something or that I am basically physically acting acting out my words and emotions with my hands while I speak.
I am curious if this could be an INFJ trait and if any one else does this.

I got really experimental and I have been video taping little blogs of myself and then watching them and it's fascinating to see a different perspective and how a lot of my information is conveyed and what other people are perceiving. So I noticed I am very animated when I am talking about something I WANT to talk about.

posted in INFJ - 18 replies

Career change - advice sought please

Vedic — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:01:38 GMT

Hello Tribe,

I've come to ask for some advice. I've recently decided that I can't take desk jobs much more.

I have back problems which have been getting worse for the last year, despite me making an effort to stretch for about an hour before work and a short stretch after work.
Additionally, I have eye problems which results in a lot of pain and blurry vision when I spend prolonged periods on a computer. I've seen doctors about both, and been advised that it's not life threatening.

Both of these together have made me decide to now begin moving towards a career where I can ideally have a fair mix of computer/desk time and moving about to relieve stiffness in my back/joints. I've decided to supress my original urge to quit my current desk job ASAP and will keep it up for another year since it's only 3 days a week and I have a weekend job which affords me a good mix of computer work and breaks. However, since it's in a dusty environment which causes my eyes to swell up, I don't want to do it full time.

During the next year, I plan on paying off my debts (approx £15K) and gain extra A Levels to go back to University and get a 2nd degree. My 1st was in econometrics and I studied it part time over rather a long period.

Does anyone have advice about what field might suit my needs of:

1) A good 50:50 mix (or close enough) of PC/Desk work (recharge my introverted self) and moving about and/or interacting with people.
2) Fixed working hours so I can do my work, finish at 5/5,30pm, go home and switch that off and get on with my real passions/life.
3) A stable field ideally since I am prone to worry as it is and don't want to have to worry about been unemployed. Especially since I haven't been unemployed at all since I turned 16.
4) I'd like a good enough salary to help my family clear their mortgage. Not a huge amount. Knowing that after a few years I would be on the mid/high £30K's would be nice.

I've taken advice from the career change thread and noted that most of my books are about Science, Complementary Medicine/healthy living, Tai Chi and Classical Languages. I also care about the environment and have volunteered as a conservation officer. I've tried to turn this into career thoughts.

I was considering either Dietics or Complementary Health Sciences, both BSCs.
The former is more secure although I get the feeling it might require spending all day dealing with patients which would probably burn me out, despite the pleasure I get in helping other people and seeing them improve.
In terms of complementary health sciences, this is a bit harder since I wouldn't be eligible for any funding for the tuition and it isn't recognised by the NHS as such, so jobs a more reliant on me selling myself and being self employed which is very off putting (I come from a background of seeing self employed relatives going bankrupt and I enjoy working for a large organisation knowing that I can shut off at 5pm and can look forward to having time off from work, i.e. annual leave).

If it helps, I'm academically strong and have good potential. Also, I dislike the idea of being a Massage Therapist since it would cause me problems with my hands/shoulders. Just mentioned since most of the Complementary Health Therapies I see on offer seem to revolve around some form of massage, relexology etc. That or Reiki which I'm also reluctant to pursue.

Many thanks for any advice :)

posted in INFJ - 17 replies

Neuroticism-Trait of all INFJs?

Ed — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:41:52 GMT

I have been described as neurotic, meaning I ask a lot of questions, doubt myself a lot, am confident one day, then feel like the world is going to end the next.

I think I get some of it from my OCD dad.

I think that I am "neurotic" because I have a lot of responsibility. I am in a tough major and am the leader of several organizations. These are not just pansy organizations, but those which require a lot of outside paperwork and liability.

I think that I am neurotic because most students my age have not challenged themselves enough, and are therefore at peace.

I think that some of them are pansies, and would be just as neurotic once they get into some real world shit. I have had a little taste, and it sucks.

Oh well. I just got to suck it up.

I think neuroticism could be an INFJ trait, because as INFJs, we could see many ways something could go wrong that many others do not worry about.

Thoughts?

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Jokes

shifting4now — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 05:04:28 GMT

I don't know if this has been posted before so excuse me if I repeat this or just send me the link maybe.

I love jokes. Mostly 1 liners, play on words and really cheesy ones.
I'm all out of jokes right now, so does anyone have a good joke?

posted in INFJ - 1 reply

What are the key ingredients for fulfilling relatinship?

Deedush — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:11:32 GMT

Just curious what you guys thought..

posted in INFJ - 18 replies

Are we the aliens or are they?

Michelle — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:01:48 GMT

Was watching human behavior today - my life long hobby. And today's was a bit of the human condition as it was at the hospital where my grandfather lay writhing in discomfort needing more morphine. My aunt was trying to communicate with him and an uncle was talking to a priest. As usual, when I'm not engaged in the process of personal communication I am watching things like they are on TV or under a microscope. How sad to watch pain in others.

It had been my life's mission to try to head mine and others pain, off at the pass because there's not much to do when it goes full blown (prob. started out as a childhood protective mechanism). It is why I watch so closely for the pattern in human behavior - patterns that come before the actual action. Because that's where you can make the greatest change. So many people only see their actions not the patterns that come before it.

Is it being INFJ that causes one to study others as if they are a strange new species or maybe like they are the normal ones and we are the martians trying to figure out how to fit into their strange reality? Many don't see so many things that I see and there is so much pain because of what they don't see.

No judgment on them but as Ed has mentioned a few times that we see things others don't so I was starting to wonder if that was why I never seemed to fit it with a lot of the human race or my family. They seem to want to talk but few want to hear. Any thoughts?

posted in INFJ - 9 replies

infj's, dating, and sex

PsylliumSecrets — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 02:08:47 GMT

any thoughts?

posted in INFJ - 95 replies

INFJ/INFP Relationship Confusion

RareBird — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:41:42 GMT

I am a INFP and have a very strong interest in a INFJ. You can refer to the post "Love Puzzle" to see my issue. In that post I was told that most likely the INFJ/INFP relationship would not work. Not to mention that I would have to chase the INFJ man. Which would be extremely difficult for an INFP female and even more difficult for me. Now I can see posts that says the INFJ/INFP relationships does work and works beautifully. I am just wondering if it would be worth my dignity to pursue a INFJ man? This man (the INFJ) seems scared of a relationship and does not pursue me but does show interest. If he rejected my pursuing interest I know I would just die of total embarrassment. And this would be very bad since we work in the same office and even on the same team. Is there any way to know for sure if an INFJ man is interested in a woman without the woman getting humiliated by pursuing him or by directly telling him I am interested? I want to preserve both my dignity and our working relationship.

posted in INFJ - 21 replies

Brutally Honest -vs- Compassionately Honest

Michelle — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:28:26 GMT

Ok I was asked to be more blunt so:
Is Brutally Honest really honest? Or is it seeing a pattern and believing that we know what is best for another and reacting? If so that's great but again it is natural for INFJ's and empaths to see these patterns and even to get irritated because others don't see them and we have to wait until they say AHAH! and by then the sh** may have already had to hit the fan. We were seeing it lead up to that. Well good for us, so we can go through life arrogantly thinking, "What a bunch of idiots THEY are for not seeing the beginning of the cycle only reacting to the end." or we can say, "We are so wise and should lead others."

Well what if we are doing the same thing as the 'bunch of idiots'? What if the sh** hitting the fan was part of another more expanded pattern that we aren't seeing?

Hmm...."Well what to do?" my mind thinks. Maybe it is being attached to being more aware then others that is my hindrance, my arrogance. Brutally Honest sounds pretty harsh and seems to come naturally when I'm tired or overworked just like anger comes to others. Maybe it is not a sign of wisdom but instead just a intellectual form of anger a bit more classy then sarcasm. If so then it's a sell out for me to just give into it - no challenge at all. And I like an intellectual challenge.

If I could work harder on seeing the bigger pattern or at least being ok with there being a bigger pattern and that each person - no matter how they see things - has their own private bigger pattern going on then I don't need to jump in and fix anything or tell people they are going astray.

But what if I want to help others (thus helping relieve tension in myself) how do I do it and stay in integrity? Well there is Compassionate Honesty (says my mind). Yeah, it's harder then the knee jerk, Brutal Honesty but more tied to telling MY version of truth and less about telling THE truth. With compassionate honesty the bluntness can still be there but it is in a vehicle of compassion and respect which not only builds the other person but builds the self (win win). All this sound airy fairy to some but for me with my strict pragmatic way of seeing the world - does it take me in the direction I want to go and draw to me that which is wanted or does it take me in the opposite direction (bringing me more angry people, becoming cynical and narrowing my viewpoint).

I do know that being compassionately honest and blunt with my own thoughts, actions, reactions and movements brings me into my integrity and compassionate alignment faster then being brutally with myself, but that's just me (I got really tired of pain a long time ago).

Whatch y'all think?

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

On-line dating

Deedush — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:03:00 GMT

What are your opinions on on-line dating? Have you ever tried it?

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

opinionated

shifting4now — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:24:30 GMT

Do people ever seem put off by your opinions or call you opinionated even if your just presenting the information logically. I don't generally make uneducated decisions or have unintelligent opinions and I am open to other points of view, but for some reason most people get very defensive when I state my opinion. I do seem to have a more passionate approach to things I care about, but I am getting really tired of others thinking that I shouldn't feel so strongly about my decisions or opinions.
My husband said tonight " I love it that you make people secretly cringe inside"
I think that hilarious but also a little disturbing.
I am just trying to be honest and I think that maybe sometimes the truth is just not what people want to hear.
Do any of you have the same experiences?
I don't really skirt around an issue much and as long as I know it won't devastate the other person I will be very upfront with what has been called "brutally honest" about things. I don't find it brutal, just honest.
People do however say that they always know where they stand with me and they can expect me to be honest with them regardless.
I take some pride in that, but I don't want to be considered offensive really, but I also don't want to be vague and play games.

posted in INFJ - 5 replies

Best job for an INFJ?

Ed — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:10:10 GMT

What is the best job for an INFJ?

Here are some of the ones I have seen on personality websites:

Social Worker
Priest/Nun/Minister
Physical Therapist
Psychologist

I believe that the best job that allows an INFJ to utilize his/her abilities (by just being an INFJ) is a psychologist. I believe this because the primary function of an INFJ is introverted-intuition while the secondary less developed function is extroverted feeling. One must be able to see patterns and think deeply and connect with people as a psychologist. While ofther NFs are able to connect with people well and think abstractly, and rationals are able to think exceptionally abstractly, the INFJ is truly the best combination, because of their incredible intuition which is often right-hence better diagnosing a patient by better being able to connect with him/her. I guess that when an INFJ develops their extroverted feeling exceptionally well, he/she may consider serving humanity in such a way as a minister.

Any thoughts?

posted in INFJ - 19 replies

Clothes Whores

Ed — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:30:30 GMT

Good thing most of you probably live on your own. Unfortunately, I am still in college and spend summer at my family's house. If there is one thing I cannot stand with my family, it is people touching my stuff.

My brother, a non-chalant ENFP (age 19), takes and wears my underwear, nice expensive shirts, and socks. He wears them to other people's houses, where somehow they get lost, and a few weeks later I find someone else wearing my clothing (I know it is my clothing and not their own store bought brand). He and his friends and other people also leave trash and wrappers in my car, and cover it up by stuffing it in my seats. I ask before hand to not leave stuff in my car, but it always fails to register. Even I ask sometimes, did you leave trash, people will do one of two things, (1) throw it out the window on the road, or (2) lie and then I pull out the trash I saw them stuff in the seat and see them lie again in my face.

I do not know if it is just me or other INFJs, but do you get pissed off when people disrespect your property blantantly, in front of your face sometimes? This should not fly with anyone, or at least I hope not.

No wonder people think I am grumpy all the time.

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

What gifts do others notice in you?

Michelle — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 22:55:48 GMT

I was wondering what gifts those close to you or others notice and respect in you. Do you think they relate to being INFJ?

posted in INFJ - 3 replies

INFJ-best tribe

Ed — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:24:42 GMT

All,

This is Ed. You may have noticed that I unsubscribed. Well, now I am back-haha to all of you. I just want to let everyone in this tribe know that we are probably one of the most active tribes. I guess we INFJs just have no lives ;)

posted in INFJ - 10 replies

Dropping hints to an ISTJ

Nat — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 05:22:28 GMT

Is there any way for a guy INFJ to drop hints to a girl ISTJ that won't make both of them completely vulnerable or uncomfortable? How do I let the ISTJ that I live with know that I like her or at the very least, I care. There's no way I would come right out and say something because I need a roommate more than a relationship but I would like her to know that she's appreciated. We're still getting to know each other but I never want to dismiss the possibility of something more in the future. I know what would seem obvious to an NF would probably be completely overlooked by an ST. For someone who's thought process comes from the other side of spectrum, I've found her very interesting and we have more values in common than I would have ever thought. What little things can I do for her so she will notice my effort?

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

interchangable parts

shifting4now — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:21:56 GMT

I test as an INFJ but my F and T are very close and as I get older, it seems I first rely on my "T" before my "F", in analyzing situations and only after exhausting all rational thought do I take into consideration the feeling aspect of my interactions or situation. I know that at certain points through out life everyone develops their functions differently and I think at this stage I am definitely developing my "T" function more. It does however make me feel like I am losing myself a bit and becoming detached in a way and I feel as though I am becoming a little...."dead inside" so to speak.
Do any of you have any of these experiences or have a reference to type development?
Just getting a little worried that I am becoming a robot. Ha!

Do you think we adapt/adopt personality traits to deal with life situations?
When I am by myself I am overwhelmed with all of the emotions I do not allow myself during the day and rethink all of the interactions and situations I have dealt with during the day and I think about how yes, I did get things done which is the important part, but ...I wish I had listened more and communicated that despite the logical conclusion I did understand how the other person "felt".
Can our reactionary personality traits be very different from the core personality traits?
I can say that I am very much this way right now.
http://www.davidmarkley.com/personality/intj.htm

This part really resonates me with me.
"INTJs really want people to make sense. This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness."

I could not accept inexhaustible affection or empathy from someone who in my view point did not make sense, have inexhaustible reasonability and directness.
Throughout my my life experiences I have developed a tough outer surface and what I want more than anything from other people is honesty, above all else. I would rather have an honest relationship than an overly romantic one. In my experience the 2 never seem to coincide.
But...it still makes me a little sad that I think this way. Like mourning the death of an ideal.

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Movies that INFJs love

PsylliumSecrets — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:25:19 GMT

Twin Falls Idaho
The Stations Agent
Legend of 1900
Field of Dreams
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Midnight Run

posted in INFJ - 67 replies

INFJ/INFP

Ben — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 19:32:22 GMT

Hi Everyone,

In light of the compatibility question regarding the INFJ/ENTP match, I thought I'd gather some thoughts on INFJ/INFP.

I've read before that INFJ/ENTP are supposedly a good match and I can see the reasoning behind it. In my experience, INFJs are primarily visionaries while ENTPs like to implement the nitty gritty of the situation. I read somewhere that the INFJ/ENTP combo is aiken to a Supervisor/Supervisee match (respectively).

I think one of the most enigmatic traits about INFJs (I know this applies to me) is that we are often quiet and extremely sensitive but on the other hand can be very demanding and even downright bossy. I suppose this comes in to play with the "grand vision" schemola that so often pops into our heads.

The trick for me is finding someone nice enough to not step on my toes (and hurt my poor widdle feewings) and at the same time has no problem being a litte...shall we say...bossed around? (sheesh, how bad does that sounds? ...just trying to be honest here :) Someone who has understanding and values empathy as much as direction.

For this reason I think INFPs might make a great match. INFPs tend to see the beauty in everyone and cater to causes on par with INFJs. They are crusaders of righteousness and lend a hand to people whenever asked.

Both of these types have their complements albeit in a subtle way compared to, say, an I/E match.

While the INFJ is directed toward the future long term goals, he may be lacking or overwhelmed with implementation of the details and the process. INFPs tend to value "the job" in the here and now and they value doing it.

On the other hand, INFPs tend to roll with the current and find the beauty of the here and now in many thing and many people. This is just one way an INFP could serve as a "grounder" for an INFJ hell bent on future projections.

Because INFPs understand sensitivity, they are less likely to accidentally step on an INFJs toes like an ENTP might (leading to those o-so frequent misunderstandings)

INFJs and INFPs also share a lot in common like the arts, philosphy, close intimate relationships with family and friends and are also the two types closes related to psychic intuition. (meaning there wouldnt have to be a lot communicated verbally as much as things are just "known" between them.)

I know that they say opposites attract but I have always seen that as a very crude and blanket statement. I understand the value in differences but I susbscribe to subtle and profound difference more than overt ones. While there may be attraction to the types you are NOT, the question is whether they are any good for you in the long run. I suppose everyone is different in this regard and it depends on what is more important to them.

At any rate, my aplogies if this seems a little disorganized (and long winded!) but I'm in a hurry out the door but was excited to find this site.

In short, what say you on the idea of an INFJ INFJ regarding a romantic relationship? Anyone out there with personal expereince?

posted in INFJ - 22 replies

Love Puzzle - Please help me solve it

RareBird — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:26:10 GMT

I am an INFP female and have a very unusual relationship with an INFJ male. If anyone could shed some light on his behavior I would much appreciate it. We work in the same office and have known each other for 10 years. We have a mutual attraction but my INFJ friend will not make any definite moves. He did ask me to go camping with him and his sister about seven years ago. I had already made plans for the weekend and could not attend. After that he has never ask me to do anything after work. I have ask him to go do things with me and he always refuses. But what is confusing me with this man is he flirts with me and a lot. We have this game we play with confuses me to no end. He seems to get a charge out of sneaking up on me when I am deep into my work and scares me by flipping my name tag at me. He tells me to “expect it when I least expect it”. And I do so much enjoy being noticed by this man. And I also find him looking at me from the distance. But I can’t get him to have a deep conversation for very long. Here is where I need help from other INFF’s to help me understand what is happening in this mans mind. Am I doing something or not doing something that would prevent him from pursuing a relationship beyond the flirting stage? Is the flirting all he is interested in and I should move on? Is he expecting something from me that I am not giving? Or is what we have just nothing more than a friendship and I am just reading attraction into his actions? Any insight into this unique man will be most helpful.

posted in INFJ - 19 replies

any thoughts?

shifting4now — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:57:02 GMT

I have been pursing a degree in Business Management and I also really enjoy Accounting. My goal was to work in Human Resources and eventually own my own business. But I am in a 5 week semester taking calculus and Microsoft Excel and I am completely disillusioned with my degree program, thinking to just give it up and try something else. These 2 classes are absolute torture and they are required to get into business school. I have about 3 semesters left and switching gears will throw a huge wrench in the system but when I look ahead into the continuing classes and job potential I am not seeing myself happy or fulfilled, just very exhausted and feeling like life shouldn't be this hard.

During a frustrated moment this past weekend I blurted out- " I've never tried so hard at something that's so wrong for me", this took me by surprise and I started to think that I have been trying to do something because it sounded financially secure and would fit in line with what is expected of me. I am finished completely with my general education requirements and so I could easily continue into a another program although I am worried I will get to the same point and change my mind again.
It doesn't help I work 2 jobs, have an unemployed husband ( job lay off due to economy) and a 5 yr old son. I want to make sure I have the means to support my family and not have to work 2 jobs, also to have benefits like health insurance, which we don't have right now.
I am just confused and I don't think I should spend my life trying to pursue something for the wrong reasons.
When speaking with my dad (an ESTP) he puts a lot of emphasis on money and things. I mentioned that I would like to go to massage therapy school and he replied " Can you make a real living at that?". The rest of my family which should be my support system says the same things which puts a lot of pressure on me and makes me quesiton my intrests and goals. My husband is very supportive of anything I want to do, but he is a free spirit so to speak and never has any problems justifying his pursuits. He has an MA in Cultural Anthropology and getting a MS in Geography. He's an INTP/J - his P/J is very close.

Any thoughts? Advice? Words of wisdom or inspiration?

posted in INFJ - 9 replies

Atheism, believe in nature and energy, not God.

Christine — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 21:20:16 GMT

What do you guys believe in? I have read that INFJ's are spiritual. Im an ENFP and an Atheist, that believes in nature and energy.

posted in INFJ - 15 replies

INFJs, what are your zodiacs? INFJ's Correlation with Zodiac Signs.

Cherry — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:38:35 GMT

I was doing a search on INFJs and came across this. According to wikipedia, there are feminine and masculine sun signs/ there're some signs that are more feminine/masculine than others. Hope that makes sense. I'm a Cancerian and an INFJ. I have a friend who's also a Cancerian and an INFJ as well. It makes sense because the description of a Cancerian fits closely to that of the INFJ. Quiet, thinker, shy, reserved, imaginative, etc. I was wondering if most INFJs also have feminine sun signs (and you'll see below which signs are, according to wikipedia), like this person was also wondering. In short form, if you're an INFJ, what is your zodiac??

Here's what the person was saying. I've pasted it below:
www.experienceproject.com/stori...414911

"I was curious to know what the members sun signs were...and if that may have any correlation to being an infj.

I am a Virgo and we are known for having a melancholy to introvert sense of personality. Other words used to describe us: modest, shy and reserved. Makes sense.

According to wikipedia, "There is also something called astrological masculinity/femininity. It has little to do with being macho or girly. In fact, men with astrological femininity often compensate by acting macho (working out, claiming to be promiscuous or tough) and women with astrological masculinity often compensate by acting girly (wearing girly clothes and makeup, claiming to be emotional).

Astrologically feminine qualities: Prefers long-term relationships, prefers to stay at home, needs more sleep, methodical, considerate, reliable, kind, stubborn, depends on others, polite, shy, prudish, prefers to be pursued.

Astrologically masculine qualities: Independent, dates a lot, travels a lot, energetic, active, headstrong, talkative, confident, open-minded, rude, sexual, flirtatious, prefers to pursue a mate.

Here is the approximate ranking of signs from most masculine to most feminine: Aries, Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Capricorn, Scorpio, Taurus, Pisces, Cancer, Virgo."

posted in INFJ - 28 replies

Is this it!

paula — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:53:20 GMT

Always felt like I was different, on the outside looking in, looking through the window at a party going on inside. Apparently there is approximately only 1% of us within the population? I guess that's why I find it difficult to relate to anyone. Read alot of your posts about feeling different, for the first time I realized I was not alone, there are others who feel the same, interact the same and just generally do the same stuff as myself without feeling like they are going mad.

I did alot of stuff I regret, trying to fit in, being what people wanted to get love or approval, even recognition. I became very good at reading people, and then I guess like a chamelion being what they wanted, adapting myself to the situation, measuring my responses, my body language. I felt so false, like a cardboard cutout, in the end I guess I was never really there.

There is always too much in my head. Taking things and breaking them down into particles and atoms, but in the end I feel frustrated, no one else gets it, its like walking in a world that so dull, seeing everying in brilliant colour but everyone else sees black and white.
And my point is this, Is this it, do we/I just live with this, trying to hold everything in and fit in?

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

Okay to to say "I don't like you"?

Ed — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:16:25 GMT

I was in my business speech class one day giving a speech on my INFJ personality. I did really well-the best out of thirty. One guy from South Korea who sat next to me said I did really good and felt like he understood who I am being an INFJ himself. I talked to him about my religion somehow, so he thought I was really well informed and knowledgeable about my religion and invited me to eat lunch with his Christian religous friends. I got weird vibes from him being a little to personal from the start (he is not gay), but me being my at the time nice INFJ self, I humbly accepted the offer. I started eating lunch once a week with them, and we talked about the bible and other everyday stuff. After a while, I felt like I was wasting my time (even though it was only one hour a week) being with these people. They were nice, but i just felt uncomfortable at how personal they were with me (in America people aren't personal anymore). Perhaps it was just some South Korean thing or really religious thing. Anyways, I kind of kept hinting at them that I did not want to spend time with them anymore by continually saying that "I have other things to do", or "I don't feel like coming today". After one of the South Korean guys-another INFJ kept calling me and asking why I don't spend time with them, I eventually just stopped anwering the phone.

Summer came, and he kept calling me, and emailed me asking to eat lunch with him. I responded "okay". A week later I said I did not want to get lunch with him and that I felt uncomfortable-I said this word for word-being around him, and that he should be spending more time with his kids than preaching the gospel to college people. He said he was sorry and thought I was very respectful in saying spend more time with his kids.

I guess my question is, was it okay to basically tell the guy I do not like him and his friends even though they are good people? Also, with pretty much all 4 of them being INFJs (a rarity) is it a little weird for you other INFJs being around other personal INFJs? Is it too personal?

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

INFJ my word/actions are soooo important.

Michelle — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:45:30 GMT

Do you ever feel that your words and actions have to be chosen so carefully - like you will be judged as a person to your deepest core by any word you utter? Is that just being an introvert? I do that with almost every decision or outward action. I weigh decisions and directions like I'm Superman unloading kryptonite. I look into future repercussions, how it will affect me and the world at large and the scope of an entire project before I decide to use my energy to move in that direction (all this research seems to clarify in a feeling that calls me or not). I have attempted to be spontaneous and do something completely without thought but I always find that even in those situations I've created a base from which to jump off of and even a light net of structure and if I don't I tend to fall on my face.

I have learned over time that life can be fun and safe so now I play and embrace life in a big way but I find that if I have a bit of forethought or structure my letting go is so much more fun.

These thought popped into my head today as I launched into yet another search for a new knitting pattern (not rocket science right) it must be exactly what I want to put my time and energy into creating or I continue to search. Everything I do must have all of me or none of me - jeez, that even sounded kind of intense to my ears. I now hear the voice that says 'lighten up already', but I just stare it down and continue to serf the net *sigh*

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

INFJ lawyer?

Alexandr — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 07:28:05 GMT

I know that there were some unsuccessful attempts for INFJ at law school... But I think it something I should try. It will cost me an immense pain to go through... (money, hard work...) Yet, I think it might worth it.
So, I want to hear from someone who knows lawyers or is a lawyer. May be I can ask some law company to give me a peek at whats behind the doors?

posted in INFJ - 6 replies

A P's take on life.

shifting4now — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:13:04 GMT

Do you think P's enjoy life more? From my experience with most P's it seems they enjoy life more or maybe they just avoid negative emotions or thoughts, making lemonade from lemons ect. Whenever I seem to share my life experiences or insight into people or a situation most P's say something witty and up beat, like:
"everything has a reason"and "I'm sure things will work out".

Although I do like a positive attitude sometimes it's annoying like they don't see the seriousness of the situation now and that sometimes things don't just work out. I think I would appreciate this mentality or attitude more if there was an actual realistic plan of action or advice given to make things work out. I always want to say, " ok so that sounds great, how do you propose we get from here to there? ....Oh you have no idea....that's great....."

Anyone have similar experiences or opinion.

posted in INFJ - 6 replies

INFJ ESFP pairing?

analyst — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:30:28 GMT

Greetings,

I've been meaning to post on this forum for a while now.

I recently met a lady friend who I am intrigued by. I, of course, made her take a Myers-Briggs. Turns out, she's an ESFP. I'm not familiar with that one at all.

I've figured that I should be chasing an INFJ, INFP, or ENFJ for romance, but I'm trying to broaden my horizons. I have a friend who is also into Myers-Briggs. She showed me a book saying to pair the NF with NT. I read it and it made sense, but seemed to be a huge shift in my thinking.

Anybody have experience in the ESFP/INFJ thing?

Please- discuss! thanks ;-)

posted in INFJ - 7 replies

Terrible, Terrible Memory

Nathan — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 17:00:15 GMT

Long before I took any type of personality indicator I knew that I had a horrible memory for names. I can be introduced to someone many times and I still cannot recall their name without some serious effort. I always remember a person though. I didn't say face because I don't always have to see their face to recognize someone. I guess I'm trying to say I almost instantly remember physical characteristics and not names. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not remembering someone's name or rather remembering them by a physical trait. Does anyone else find this typical of the INFJ?

I just remembered...lol...if I become emotionally attached to or infatuated with someone I can't forget their name and that reminds me of another post which I'll have to save for another time.

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Random, silly question:

Rachel — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:53:45 GMT

I have noticed I'm really sensitive to loud noises and smells no one else can seem to smell. Since I'm apparently 100% iNtuitive and not Sensory at all, I find this weird. Any other INFJs experience this?

posted in INFJ - 18 replies

Movies that should piss you off

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:40:15 GMT

Someone put on movies that INFJs love, here are some that should piss off INFJs especially:

Twilight
Meet the Spartans
The more recent Scary Movies
other movies that have the word movie in the title (Epic Movie, Date Movie, Superhero Movie)
all the Saw movies
other pointlessly violent movies like Hostel
Some of Will Farrell's movies (Bewitched)
Pretty much any Queen Latifah movies (Last Holiday)
Stereotypical action movies where the guy's wife or family is captured and he wants revenge (Observe and Report with Harrison Ford)

Stupid movies with Disney channel/ Nickelodeon singers that are made into actors or actors made into singers somehow (Hannah Montana Concert movie that was not even a movie, The Crossroads starring Britney Spears)

posted in INFJ - 19 replies

Emapaths and INFJ's

Michelle — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 21:42:23 GMT

I was posting something on my Empath tribes about INFJ similarities to Empaths and I came across a note on the internet:

[http://www.theintrovertzcoach.com/famous_INFJ.html]
According to Keirsey, COUNSELORS are most prone of all types to extra sensory perceptions, visions and telepathy.

INFJs are also called THE EMPATH. In earlier classifications they would be members of the IDEALIST group, called APOLLONIAN and Choleric.

I don't have visions as I am more intuitive and empathic (feeling/sensing) - I often pick up others fears, desires and physical ailments as my own. Understanding myself as an INFJ led me to look up the words sensitive and empath and I found that there were other very 'normal' and pragmatic people like me who happened to be sensitives. Have you guys noticed any of this stuff in you? Or do other people say that you always seem to know if they are in trouble, what they are thinking or if something is going on? Do you suddenly switch moods when you are out in public and not understand how it happened? Are you extremely sensitive to environment/food/smells/sounds? I think everyone picks up stuff to a point but some people have their antennas way up and then turned up to TILT -or as some say, running hot (which can then cause a crashing of energy later).

posted in INFJ - 1 reply

Some other things that may piss off an INFJ

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:27:46 GMT

Here are some other things that may piss an INFJ:

-People blatantly making out in public.
-Terrible overrated sitcoms such as Family Ties
-Also new sitcoms that ultimately fail in a week with laugh tracks for stupid uncreative jokes -mainly found on FOX
-TNT network- awful everything-i.e. Charles Barkley, Holly Hunter in the Show Saving Grace, numerous and endlessly long comercials
-"Holla Back Girl"
-fake boobs
-people who yell out at you while walking down the street with their friends-all of them in intoxicated states (mainly found on the college scene)
-when people who text-message in front of your face while talking to you
-when people who do not return calls
-when people's voicemail box is full-How does that happen?!
-people who blindly follow religion, people, beliefs, etc.
-people who settle for the norm
-people who do what every one else does
-being told what to do-then again, who does?
-people who absolutely are dependent on their friends/girl/boy friend to do things with-they can't do things or go to places on their own

That is all from me for now. Feel free to comment.

-

posted in INFJ - 3 replies

What is hot to an INFJ about a person of the opposite sex?

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:37:21 GMT

What is hot to an INFJ about a person of the opposite sex? More specifically, what of his or her personality, not necessarily appearance, is hot to an INFJ? To me, it is when a woman is not afraid to speak her mind and does not care what others think about her.

posted in INFJ - 14 replies

GET YOUR COGNITIVE PROFILE...

shifting4now — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 02:40:19 GMT

Thought this would be interesting to share. I got this link off of the Facebook INFJ group (I am no longer a member). I have tried MySpace and Facebook but Tribe seems to be the only online social networking site that I don't get frustrated or bored with.

http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

Here is the main page:
http://www.keys2cognition.com/cgjung.htm

Mine:

Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************* (21.4)
limited use
introverted Sensing (Si) ****************************** (30.6)
good use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ************* (13.6)
unused
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ************************************** (39)
excellent use
extraverted Thinking (Te) *************************************** (39.8)
excellent use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ******************** (20.3)
limited use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) ***************************************** (41.8)
excellent use
introverted Feeling (Fi) ********************************* (33.7)
good use

Summary Analysis of Profile
By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: INFJ

posted in INFJ - 6 replies

Some musings: On love and longing

Nat — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:56:20 GMT

We spend most of our lives trying to put round pegs into square holes... trying to make that which doesn’t measure up, satiate our infinite desire for love. We get by on the right nows, the what ifs, the that’ll dos. If we are to find the right combination to the lock, whom do we give chances for turning the key?

To the broken, the bruised and the feint of heart: It's true that we are once bitten, twice shy, leveling our defenses up against foreseeable heartbreak. 'They' say it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. What is our love worth compared to the value of our hearts? What gives our hearts value and truly, what is love?

Blessed are those who mourn, for without mourning there is no caring. Our hearts are actually valued by our capacity to love. We mourn for them *because* we have loved... but we cannot cease to love. Only then do we become heartless.

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

Barack Obama-INFJ?

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 17:13:43 GMT

Does anyone think that Barack Obama is an INFJ? I think he might be. I can kind of tell by his communication style and his seemingly idealist temperament with his community service record. I am not promoting nor discouraging what he does, I am merely asking if you think that he is an INFJ.

posted in INFJ - 1 reply

Text messaging language

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:28:23 GMT

INFJs,

I have been wondering what you all think of this new craze of text messaging/ email language. To be honest, it pisses me off. I have seen it used in our conversations here in the INFJ tribe, but not often. I thank you all for that. I like having conversations with INFJs on the computer because I understand all of the language and you are all generally not falling for this new craze of text messaging language.

What are your thoughts on such language? Is it useful or not? Is it annoying or not? Share.

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Some musings: On what we leave behind

Nat — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:07:24 GMT

It seems we all are looking for something - Some goal to accomplish, some dream to achieve. We're so busy planning for our future that we forget that we are living right here, right now. We stare through a window, just waiting for a sign that we're ready to begin, and we often overlook what time we've already wasted. What does it mean to start?

We sail the ebb and flow of time and relationships, trying to forge something definitive and infinite. We attempt to climb our way to the top - to be knocked down, only to rise again. What are we trying to reach?

The journeys in life are the most important, not their destinations. We cannot observe life and expect it to be lived. We should not live for the future while we exist only in the present. We are always progressing forward, crossing milestones and hurdling set backs. Still, we are now...and yet we must move on... What is our motivation?

I've lived many lifetimes in so few years on this earth and I have so many more lifetimes yet to live. I can see and understand and learn from the naivety of my younger self. I now know why the goals matter but also why they aren't everything. I refuse to wait around for end results anymore. And it's not because I don't respect and appreciate them. But by obsessing over silent ambitions, seeking them out with such fixation, we will miss out on all that is happening around us and the relationships we could be forming.

Nothing is forever except our legacy... We must appreciate what we have while it's here to be held. As it has been said, "Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life." The one thing that transcends all space and time is the odyssey of love. And that love is our legacy.

posted in INFJ - 1 reply

Some musings: On what happens next

Nat — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 05:03:32 GMT

A long and winding road: it's the path I follow, or does it follow me? Through the weeds and the thistles. I've been battered and bruised before. The scars are visible but laughably pale. I sigh as I take in all the things around me. I empathize and internalize and analyze. Baby, you've come a long, long way.

And now this.

The mountain out of a molehill. Or a slightly large heap of debris. I cannot lie and say everything will work out just like we said it would, but when I close my eyes I can see eternity. And a tiny spec of dust becomes my entire world. Blowing in the wind - we're bending and breathing. We always make it through.

We always do.

posted in INFJ - 0 replies

INFJ guys - is this too cheesy?

Meki — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:51:55 GMT

Okay , so I'm still trying to reel in an INFJ guy and wanted to know if a music CD created with lyrics that express how I feel about him is too cheesy of a gift. I thought (being the INTP I am) that it would show my "F" side and show him how sincere I am.

Every single time the guy gets near to approaching me asking me out, I see him punking out because of imagining that I am interested in another guy an ENFJ . It is simply that the ENFJ guy is sooooo expressive and also happens to have a crush on me, but I only like him as a friend - like a little brother and have told this directly to the INFJ guy, but he doesn't believe it since I am nice to all guys. The 3 of us were in the same place and as I was finishing talking to him, I whipped around and bumped into the ENFJ guy who caught me, put his arm around my waist to steady me then grabbed my hand and slowly let it go all if front of the other guy! I wanted to die! It was so innocent on my part, but angered the INFJ. I don't know how to convince him nothing is going on. I can tell he really believes I like the other guy and thinks I was dishonest in saying I think of the other guy as a kid - which I truly do.

I needed some information the other day and he said, "Why don't you ask (the ENFJ)?" So I asked the ENFJ the question and also had a short conversation with him and the INFJ just angrily marched off as he was standing almost next the ENFJ. I don't get what was angering him. He is the one who told me to ask the guy the question then he gets mad when I do? What does he want from me?

So I want to show him how much I want him, but do it in a way that is personalized to him. What do you INFJ guys think? An NT female you like but are too intimidated to approach, who makes you stutter when you try to talk to her, bump into things, and who makes you feel jealous of every guy she talks to makes you a music CD with songs with a few lyrics that follow - any thoughts?

(1) You know I see you | It's a disguise the way you treat me | You keep holding on to your thoughts of rejection | If you're with me you're secured...
(2) I just melt away, fall like rain, every time I see your face, I go off I just want to break it down anytime you come around baby I could melt away in your arms...
(3) Nothin' means as much - your smile, Nothin' seems to touch - your smile, when you smile - your smile | Oh, if anything I'd miss - your smile I never could resist - your smile...

By the way can anyone relate to how this guy is acting?

posted in INFJ - 21 replies

Public Speaking

Rachel — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:49:30 GMT

In light of an upcoming class presentation, I thought I'd ask if anyone had any type-specific tips for public speaking. I know all the generic ones, but also find that doing something totally against your natural instincts (like using my hands a lot, which I just don't do) only leads to feeling phony and more nervous.

I figure there must be a way to purposefully use Extraverted Feeling to help out a presentation...but how?

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

Wrong Personality? (INFJ or P)

danny — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:09:13 GMT

hi there. Iv been reading alot on both INFP's and J's lately and im still quite up in the air to which i am. While im well aware their are differences its still hard to distinguish. Iv done tests and things and they say im a INJP, but iv had my doubts. has any one else had this problem aswell? any ideas on how i can tell which i am?

dan

posted in INFJ - 24 replies

INFJ mating Type--Really Need Some Opinions

Jack — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:33:13 GMT

I'm an INFJ male recently divorced after a 14-year marriage to an ESTP female. She was extremely insensitive, and on her own. It all became too much. Socionics recommends the duality partner, ESTJ for the INFJ. I've also seen that Kiersey recommends the ENTP for the INFJ. I seem to get along well with ISTP "artisan" types, but, they're kind of sassy and radically independent, too. I realize type is not the only issue in a relationship. However, I'm running into dead ends trying to figure out what kind of girl is best fit for my type. The identical partner (INFJ) can seem good, but they don't seem to attracted to me. I'm confused. Would appreciate some advice. I recently dated an extremely attractive ESTJ, but she was really forceful, hot tempered, whoa. Okay, I'm ready to listen. Thanks.

posted in INFJ - 11 replies

True love?

Rachel — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:31:38 GMT

Am I the only one who still believes in true love, transcendent love, that overcomes time and distance and circumstances? Like soulmates? I've been burned SO badly, but as angry as I get, I never give up on it. This seems not to be normal...most people seems to embrace cynicism. I just can't do it.

posted in INFJ - 18 replies

What Do You Dream About?

Nathan — Mon, 25 May 2009 13:36:02 GMT

I've always been curious if certain dreams are associated with a personality type. I have for decades had the same or similar dreams and they appear in three very distinct forms. I've listed both the basic term and the specifics of my dreams.

1. water - breathing under water
2. flying - flying just above the ground
3. telekenesis - opening doors with a sympathetic movement of my hand

I've tried to do research on dreams but what I've found tends toward the bizarre and/or ambiguous. Any comments, feedback, or personal anecdotes would be appreciated.

posted in INFJ - 10 replies

Enneagram and INFJ

Michelle — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:09:16 GMT

Hi all,
After taking numerous classes and sitting on panels, over the years, I've found that I feel most comfortable around two particular enneagram types - 9 and 5. I am an enneagram 9 and an Empath and took a few tests and came out dead on for INFJ. I was wondering if anyone else saw a connection between your enneagram type and being an INFJ?

The biggest challenges I have are with enneagram 8 and 3 (Both intense but an 8 is physically/energetically loud and 3's can be type A loud) The 5's are intellectual, quieter and not focused so much on emotion so for an INFJ/empath we don't pick up as much free floating emotionally-charged vibes from them. 9's are usually too busy picking up everyone's stuff and repressing or creating calm (even if they are a basket case inside) that one usually feels calm around them.

posted in INFJ - 9 replies

The INFJ / quarter life crisis COMBO

Matthew — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 06:04:45 GMT

So here I am..having turned 25 last month, having spent the last 4 months dealing with a severe panic disorder that was "turned on" after I was poisoned by a metal known as Gadolinium during a routine "CT abdomen" scan gone wrong. They put the wrong dye in me and I was also allergic..long story.

I am returning to myself slowly and falling back into who I was prior to being sick. Unfortunately, that person is a confused, don't know what to do with my life, feel like the best times are behind me and all that's left is putting my soul into the workforce for the next 30-40 years and then dying. I hold a bachelors degree in Digital Media but realized too late that the particular degree didn't do much for me and so after receiving it I took a year off last year to "find myself" and what that did was give me 24/7 time to analyze every aspect of my life and every possible career (as us INFJ's do) which has ultimately made me even more stressed out about life!

I feel as if I've failed already and that at 25 I should be in a respected job/career by now moving up the ladder in some fashion..instead I'm still hiding away in college working on a second bachelors (which should have been my first) in Psychology. Psychology really interests me but the idea of being a counselor has already burnt me out just thinking about having to deal with so many other people's emotions that I will become overwhelmed and fall further into my head.

Since last year i've tried learning to day trade (didnt work out well) , and I daily analyze myself in and out of professions while reading every book there is on career/personality development. Since last year i've been gung ho on getting an MBA, then it was back to Video Game Production (as a producer), then it was back to management in some form still requiring an MBA, then I finally decided to pursue my interest in psychology and be a counselor but analyzed myself back out of it. I decided despite my shyness I really want to try acting but I've yet to "act" on it (no pun).... and now i'm learning about Human Resources Management and that seems interesting until I started reading about people in the profession tonight and now i'm analzying myself out of that. Do any other of you INFJs in my age bracket go through this or am I crazy? I think my natural anxiety issues make things worse because in my head if i don't pick the one right, true thing for me before I go through with it, I feel i'm doomed for a life of unhappiness. Logically, i know that's not true and careers can be changed, but emotionally that's how I feel. I know on my personality test I pretty much maxed out my "F" so Feeling is my highest level aspect , followed by intuitive, introvert, and then lowest on the judging.

I really want to make good money, but at the same time I want to enjoy what i'm doing and have it not feel like i'm slaving away at work 60+ hours a week. I still want a life to enjoy as well. I play piano , love music, and love being with my friends. I love video games and have grown up with them so they will probably always be a main hobby in my life.

I really don't know what i'm asking, perhaps i'm just somewhat venting about what i'm feeling inside right now. I feel like I really need to get a move on because i'm running out of the best years of my life. I need a salary and to start preparing to have the things I want/need in my life. I need to choose a Master's program of some kind, go with it, and enjoy it. I worry so much about everything!

Are there any older INFJs out there that have some reassurance or similar stories/experiences that I could relate to or some good old fashioned advice? Every other INFJ seems to be in counseling but I just don't know if i have the emotional fortitude to not let others problems affect me too much. I've read that our personality type tends to struggle with career decisions throughout life because we always want to make sure that what we're doing is exactly what we need as an individual for internal happiness.

thanks for listening to my stream of consciousness/rant. This is basically what's running through my mind every day for over a year now.

-Matt

posted in INFJ - 13 replies

Phobias

shifting4now — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 05:17:51 GMT

I am curious if anyone else has any irrational phobias. I had a panic attack today that made me realize just how big this fear had become. I love to take photographs, but I absolutely hate having my picture taken. So much so that if I know someone has taken a photo of me I will try to erase it off of their camera when they are not looking, somehow sabotage the film, avoid the photo being taken and even cause a social scene. I have gone into friends homes and removed photos of myself from albums or collections and will request that no one photograph me because it makes me uncomfortable. If I am in a video or photo that a stranger just happens to be filming and I am in the background I will worry about it or think about it a lot. After any type of relationship has ended I have not requested so much "closure" as I have pictures they have of me to be given to me.It is really unhealthy and I know that it's not normal, but I can't stand the thought of someone looking at me. I don't like being seen. Whats worse than having the picture taken is actually viewing the picture out somewhere or at a friends house. That is a panic stricken moment where I mentally focus all my energy on acquiring the picture by all means necessary. I obviously have pictures of me and I have posted some of them, I think about them everyday and it gives me anxiety, I have been working towards gradually becoming more ok with it, and I seem to be ok as long as I have control over some aspect of it. I feel bad because I am not the type of friend, wife or mother that goes out, has a good time and feels comfortable with pictures being taken, I am always the one taking them.

So I guess I am wondering if anyone else has any phobias and could this be an Introverted privacy thing or just my own individual neurosis? Guessing probably both.

posted in INFJ - 15 replies

The Recession: The Great[er] Depression?

Nat — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:16:59 GMT

Has anyone out there been affected by the bad economy? Layoffs, foreclosures, bankruptcies?

My personal story:
I had a series of financial disasters in 2008 including multiple car repairs and a messy "divorce". I racked up $5,200 in credit card debt - a small amount compared to the enormity of the failing economy but a big deal for me. I neglected my payments for a couple months because I was unable to afford them so I incurred several penalty fees. The good news is that my tax refund will make me current on my third and final card. I can finally attack my plan of paying it all off in just over a year - or I could. Debt free is wealthy enough for me at this point. I can barely afford nutritious food. I get by on Ramen and microwavable meals. And a one-a-day vitamin.

First of all, I absolutely love my job. I've been in the television news broadcast field for 2 1/2 years and I started from the very bottom. Everything about it goes against everything my personality is comfortable with. I have to communicate a lot and make quick decisions then act upon them. It's very tactile and technical. And it takes a lot of imagination to help it grow. Just this week, corporate laid off 13 people - one lady has been there for 31 years, 4 years away from retirement! I was demoted to PT along with 4 other formerly FT, losing all benefits. Two other people are leaving at will. That leaves my own department with 10 people instead 16. That's 1/3 of the crew. 2 specialized positions have been eliminated and their duties are being spread amongst 3 others. I am so overwhelmed that I can't decide if it's better to be cut or be left behind. At first I was worried about the financial side of things, how I'm going to afford anything. After careful review I've calmed myself and figured I can work with that. What really bothers me about this is the enormity of the task at hand. How do we run the station with such limited staff? If people bail, will we eventually fold? Will our quality decline because we're stretched too thin - or will we rise to the challenge of righting the ship?

I take a lot of pride in my work. I think it's the coolest job ever and I have such a great rapport with my co-workers. We hang out after work, karaoke, Rock Band, Chipotle Friday... Now I'm losing some of my closest friends. It's scary to imagine them not being there. I keep asking myself 'why was I chosen to stay?'

Everyone knows this is a numbers game and the bottom line is we have to keep returning a profit. If businesses can't sell, they don't make money. Then they don't buy advertisements and our workers can't get paid. We are all just a number to them. Instead of thinking at the division process negatively (liability or laziness), were the managers overwhelmed at the circumstances like I was? Did they pick the crew they thought could keep us alive? 'Why was I chosen to stay?'

I'm not doubting my abilities, just the enormous amount of focus and follow through. What I am doubting is my chance at a future in broadcast because it won't exist soon. My job was finally the one thing I had to focus on and put all my energy into. Now I can't afford it so I'll have to give a little attention to something else. My learning curve is greatly upset because there now exists a large roadblock between what I am and what I could have been someday. I'm not saying I would have been there forever but I certainly wanted longevity and to master the field then eventually move on to pursue my own business. How much further is the goal now than it was before?

Yes, I understand. I'm 26 and I 'have all the time in the world'. Really? I never started to feel like I was getting somewhere until this job. I thought I had started a career. For the first time on my own I had health and life insurance. I was making fantastic progress in a short amount of time. Well that doesn't count anymore. We've all regressed in title and perhaps a little dignity but that doesn't mean we can't make a great product, work that we can be proud to be a part of.

I'm very anxious for our station's future. I hope we can keep our spirits up and work hard, for our own self-respect, despite the awful circumstances given to us. I'm having a really hard time with of three days in a row being slammed into life changing circumstances. I have a corner of my security blanket, the threads of my career I'm still holding in my fist. I find it especially difficult to handle my emotions around people, especially at work. It's such a sad affair seeing some faces who will soon become strangers while others are thanking their lucky stars. My heart hurts for everyone caught up in this, especially my boss...

He had to tell those 6 people that they had two weeks left and 5 that they were being demoted - not because they were bad at their job. No matter who you are, no one enjoys destroying someone's livelihood. Poor guy. He's had the job only a little longer than I've had mine and he successfully transitioned the station to all HD equipment and set. Husband and father of 1 with another due in a couple weeks. He's only a few years older than me, too. This is tearing him up having to comb through and pick and choose and take sides. Half of the people he let go were his equals the entire time he worked with them before his promotion. These were his friends, too. And to demote two others in that category. And he turned another year older this past Tuesday. *sigh*

The icing on the cake for my tumultuous week: my grandpa had a heart attack and is in ICU with a tube down his throat, sedated and his wrists are attached to the side of the bed. He just can't catch a break. He broke his ankle about 1 1/2 years ago and lost the use of his legs nearly entirely after that. That forced him to sell his dental practice of 40-something years. Mounting medical debt and hidden debt too, they had to get a divorce to avoid Medicaid taking the house they just bought 3 years ago. My poor grandpa is so frustrated and I'm sure very depressed. His mind and his will is strong but his body fails him. But now his mind's not there, or maybe it is, under a very heavy fog. My grandma does everything she can to take care of him. He is her security whether they have money or not.

I'm an emotional wreck this week and with due cause, I'd say. So many people are struggling, so many sad circumstances that can break us if we let them. The INFJ in me can't help but take on everyone else's burdens. Every interaction is uncomfortable and sometimes painful to me right now. 'How do I look at people and what do I say to them?'

Everything is awkward.

I stare and I let out a long sigh.

This is a test of mettle and might. I choose to forge ahead on a different route than anticipated. I still take pride in my work and I like consistency and near-perfectionism. This is my time, all of our time, to become better than what we are and who we are. We are now active participants for change. But you better buy a lottery ticket in the meantime because that's all the hope you have!

So the moral of the story is drink hot tea instead of coffee if you value your stomach during extremely stressful periods.

Your thoughts?

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

New INFJ Guy

Jason — Mon, 11 May 2009 07:54:19 GMT

Hey Kids,

Jason here, I'm an INFJ 27 year old Australian

Just on here to meet some people and share all things INFJ

I'm a very complicated guy, most of the time I confuse myself, but I just want to make the world a better place, I have trouble finding my niche in life and yeah.... Interested in buddhism, weights, obsessed with bands such as dredg, tool (anything with mike patton or maynard james keenan) I drum and wish I could draw better..... hmmmm hope to hear from y'all
:P

posted in INFJ - 3 replies

INFJ music

Stephen — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:38:54 GMT

who are your favourite musicians? Do they reflect being an infj?

For me Beethoven is God...I literally have religious experiences listening to him.

When I was in highschool I was obsessed with radiohead...really dark and introverted, so I think that makes sense

And I love the Beatles.

posted in INFJ - 5 replies

Connecting With Movie Characters

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 02:56:10 GMT

I'm new to the tribe so please forgive me if this subject has already been discussed, or if this question is off-topic for INFJ's.

My question is: Has anyone fallen for a character in a movie? By 'fallen' I mean connected or identified either emotionally, or on some other non-trivial level (like love), with the character's persona, plight, situation, needs etc. The distinction between lust and something approximating a love interest gets blurry when the movie industry – with its focus on youth and beauty – wraps characters up in beautiful packages. If you've experienced this kind of non-physical connection with a movie character, what was the movie, and who was the character and how did you feel connected?
~don

posted in INFJ - 18 replies

Any Aussies Out There?

Jason — Mon, 11 May 2009 08:07:40 GMT

I live in Perth..... Aussie Aussie Aussie??

I am not a typical Australian which sometimes causes me problems due to my complete lack of interest in football and heard mentallity!

posted in INFJ - 0 replies

INFJ's are known as The Protector

elegantunity — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:05:21 GMT

What do you protect? What is sacred enough for your passionate vigilance?

For me it's the mild dichotomy of everyone's basic needs being met (real food, clean water, harmonious shelter, a place in the circle) and celebrating each person's individual creativity.

Sweet potatoes and incandescence.

posted in INFJ - 7 replies

feeling different

Hidley — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 17:58:47 GMT

Hey all,
I read somewhere that all INFJs think they are either weird or special and I wondered how many of you could relate to that? I grew up thinking I was "different" and always searching for a new label to explain why I felt different to the others. As an adult I still feel different and I find social interactions really stressful sometimes because of that. Do you think INFJs really are weird/special/different? Or do we just think that way because we are introverts and keep ourselves apart?

posted in INFJ - 32 replies

xNTJs and wariness

Rachel — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:58:36 GMT

I have been noticing that people who I'm pretty sure are NTJs (in an academic setting so this is probably a fair guess) can have this attribute of seeming sort of wary (in one-on-one conversations). I don't know if it is of me or if that is general with everyone. I've been told I come across as really honest, which I'm sure is true of most Infjs...and I have no ill intentions or anything. These are only professional conversations. It hurts my feelings a little bit to feel someone is suspicious of me. Has anyone noticed this or has an idea what that's about?

posted in INFJ - 5 replies

what do you do for a living??

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 06:12:50 GMT

Just curious about us on this tribe-
I am a mental health counselor and I work for a SA treatment hospital currently. I have worked with mentally ill adults in the "system" for years and years.

posted in INFJ - 99 replies

How/what is God for INFJs?

Júlio — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:29:49 GMT

I think there's no Father in Heaven sat in a throne (and I think the human race is getting spiritually mature enough not to believe literally in this metaphor), it's more 'something' than 'someone'. It should be like a Power or Energy or Law that rules everything and everyone in the Universe. Spinoza seems to have quite an interesting philosophy about God, unfortunately I've read some superficial things about this philosopher, so I don't know much (anyone knows more to share?).

Opinions and thoughts will be appreciated.

Hmmm... do you guys think INFJs tend to believe in God?

posted in INFJ - 25 replies

Test Time!

Chypre — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 04:47:51 GMT

A Necker Cube experiment:

www.bbc.co.uk/science/hum.../index.shtml

But there are many others, including several that compare responses between introverted and extroverted personalities.

This one tests your ability to distinguish between genuine and fake smiles:

www.bbc.co.uk/science/hum.../index.shtml

I got 18 of them right! I can't help but wonder if iNFj's are better at this than most.

posted in INFJ - 3 replies

Favorite Poems of an INFJ

KingOfDreams — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:36:32 GMT

I've been reading poetry for some short while, now, and am curious to know what poems and poets INFJs are most drawn to. Given my rather... convoluted... opinions on religion et al, I try to avoid any mention of deities (which aren't accepted as dead, anyway), but am interested in those which appeal most to human inspiration and courage. My current favorite is Shakespeare's Sonnet #29, below, while these others leave a powerful mark:

Tao Te Ching - Chapter 33 - Lao Tzu
Invictus (Unconquered) - William Ernest Henley
Fire - Judy Brown
Kindness - Naomi Shihab Nye
The Way It Is - William Stafford

Sonnet #29

When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least:
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,--and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings'.

- William Shakespeare

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Elizabeth Gilbert: A different way to think about creative genius

shifting4now — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:51:51 GMT

I found this speech really inspirational and wanted to share.
http://davemorin.com/blog/best-of-ted-2009-elizabeth-gilbert-a-different-way-to-think-about-creative-genius/

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

Movie Quotes that you love

PsylliumSecrets — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 00:07:17 GMT

1900: "All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends?

It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. There was no problem. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end. What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end. The end of the world...

Take a piano. The keys begin, the keys end. You know there are eighty-eight of them, nobody can tell you any different. They are not infinite. You are infinite. And on these keys the music that you can make is infinite. I like that. That I can live by.

You get me up on that gangway and you're rolling out in front of me a keyboard of millions of keys, millions and billions of keys that never end, and that's the truth, Max. That they never end. That keyboard is infinite. And if that keyboard is infinite, then on that keyboard there is no music you can play. You're sitting on the wrong bench. That's God's piano.

Christ! Did, did you see the streets? Just the streets… There were thousands of them! And how do you do it down there? How do you choose just one? One woman, one house, one piece of land to call your own, one landscape to look at, one way to die...

All that world is weighing down on me, you don't even know where it comes to an end, and aren't you ever just scared of breaking apart at the thought of it? The enormity of living it?

I was born on this ship, and the world passed me by, but two thousand people at a time. And there were wishes here, but never more than fit between prow and stern. You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite. I learned to live that way.

Land? Land is a ship too big for me. It's a woman too beautiful; it's a voyage too long, a perfume too strong. It's a music I don't know how to make. I could never get off this ship. At best, I can step off my life. After all, I don't exist for anyone. You're an exception, Max, you're the only one who knows I'm here. You're a minority, and you better get used to it. Forgive me, my friend, but I'm not getting off."

-- The Legend of 1900

posted in INFJ - 8 replies

infj empaths

redbricolage — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:29:54 GMT

hi all. i was just skimming through a discussion of meyers-briggs on the "empaths alike" tribe, and it turns out that a *lot* of people who posted their types are INFJs. like, maybe even more people than we have on this entire INFJ tribe. any thoughts? i wasn't exactly surprised by the fact that so many INFJs identify as empaths, but was sort of shocked by the large percentage we make up of the whole body of empaths...

posted in INFJ - 20 replies

nap time

blackice — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 14:28:45 GMT

Hi

Is it an INFJ trait to need naps?

I find i overload if I don't get to clear my head with 30-50 min downtime each day. Thankfully i freelance most of the time so I can get away with it.

I work best alone too, or in very small groups. Traveling up to London for example I didn't get my down time and i was write off yesterday.

I also find my dreams very lucid and rememberable. I can even remember dreams within dreams or spaces from dreams within other dreams.

So due to all this empath aspects I tend to isolate myself but on the other hand can really sync with people in personal ways when I get to know them. Great at Xmas presents.

M

posted in INFJ - 0 replies

INFJs and dual personality+broken friendships

kahleigh — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 07:49:57 GMT

I don't know if you guys out there feel the same, but all my life I've had two personalities--one with parents & the elderly and the other with friends. Basically my parents think I'm an angel and all that but friends who know me well see my crazy side and see that I have two completely different personalities. When I'm caught between my parents and friends it's like this totally stressful situation and I try to never speak of my friends to my parents.

And I've had a track of broken friendships that I still try to figure out. It's like eventhough I apologize and all that the other side doesn't seem to want to forgive me ever and I don't handle that well.

posted in INFJ - 3 replies

What do you do in your free time? What do you enjoy doing?

Hidley — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 20:04:52 GMT

I seem to be one of those people who never really enjoys anything, and I often struggle when other people ask me what my hobbies are/what I did on the weekend/ what I'll do in my week off etc. The others seem to spend their time constantly being busy going to pubs, parties, on vacation, or other sorts of activities that I never do, and I feel like a freak becuase I dont seem to have any interests at all by comparison. But if I do the things others like, I don't enjoy them, and I find I want to go home.... Is that an INFJ thing? Do you have hobbies or other things that you really enjoy doing?

posted in INFJ - 26 replies

Life as an INFJ (wo! is me)

PsylliumSecrets — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 22:19:36 GMT

OK, I can probably write a book on all the reasons why being an INFJ is difficult, confusing, and, many times, downright depressing.

But can anyone tell me what is GOOD about being an INFJ?

Here's one: My intuition has led me to some profitable stocks, when l basically have no training on company or stock analysis. Maybe I should move to Vegas.

posted in INFJ - 16 replies

Meeting new people..

Deedush — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 01:54:29 GMT

Hello Boys and Girls
I m new to the tribe! I have been reading some of the old postings and I have to say that there is so much that I can relate to. It is nice to find a place where there are others that feel the same way as I do. One of the INFJ characteristics seem to be that we all have felt a deep sense of ‘aloneless’ in our lives. Well I need some suggestions from you guys. I m 22 years old and I have never been in a relationship. Even with my friendships sometimes I have a hard time feeling like I belong or feeling like my friends really understand me. I ve dated a bit here and there but never found anyone to really connect with…until this summer. I met someone this summer and kind of dated a bit. Before I met him I had almost given up on men. I felt a strong connection with this guy and I guess I got excited because I thought to myself ‘OMG could it be? I finally found someone?!’. He told me that he felt a strong connection to me a number of times. But there are some circumstances that were in the way. He hasn’t told me exactly why but he went on vacation this September and came back an alcoholic. I guess something happened and he turned to alcohol. Since then I don’t even know how to describe our relationship. We weren’t dating but we were more than friends. Well a month ago, he got really drunk and called me and well…it was just a bad situation. We decided that we were going to be friends. He said that he likes me more than I know but it is not a good idea for me to be in his life right now. He said he doesn’t want to hurt me and he needs time to get professional help and feel better. I said ok I respect that. I guess the reason I m writing is I am having trouble letting him go. I still like him. I want to move on. But I m having mixed feelings…Sometimes I feel like I want him back and I don’t want to let him go….other times I want to start dating new people casually….other times I realize that I want a meaningful relationship. Though I have no problem being on my own and actually enjoy my time alone I do want to explore myself. I want to know what it is like to be in a loving relationship. How will I grow? What will I learn?

Well I guess I was wondering as INFJ types, where do you guys meet people? How do you ‘put yourself out there’? Any comments will be appreciated.

Dee

posted in INFJ - 2 replies

the dreaded phone

Mary Ann — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 00:36:38 GMT

As I get older, I find that the phone freaks me out a lot more than it used to. Does anyone else in this tribe besides me routinely screen their calls? Even when someone who I like perfectly well is calling, I won't pick up. It's like I feel this sudden dread at talking to someone, no matter how nice they are. It seems unfair that a person can invade my world just by dialing a number. My privacy is really important to me, obviously. I live alone (with 3 dogs), and spend most of the time in my own head or communicating in a non-verbal way with my animals. Sometimes coming out into the real world and making language sounds is just a little overwhelming. Is this typical of INFJ people?

Thanks for your input.

M.A.

posted in INFJ - 31 replies

What do you think of ENFP's?

Christine — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 21:16:41 GMT

What do you guys think of ENFP's? Has anyone dated and had a pleasurable experience? What is the main problem with ENFP's do you think? How can we improve?

I think INFJ's are brilliant thinkers, but hard to find. I want one!

Christina
ENFP

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

INFJ and ISTJ relationship

mitch — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:56:41 GMT

I'm quite smitten with an ISTJ. We met and began talking every day for hours for almost two months. I am drawn to her introversion, her practicality, and her ability to live based on objective reality.

I never hear anything about INFJ and ISTJ. She doesn't have the feeling preference, so I don't always get the affirmation I need. However, my Judgment tells me that if she really does like me, I don't need to have my feelings pandered to.

Anyhow, I really want this to work out. I think the greatest saving grace of an INFJ might be marriage. We can live our lives but have the safety net of having someone there to keep us from becoming lost in our introversion and also to distract us from over-thinking etc.

My greatest enemy as an INFJ is loneliness.

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

What do you guys think of the Sara Palin Pick?

Christine — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 20:47:44 GMT

What are people's thoughts on this? It's seems a bit out of body to me, I don't really get why. Who was the master mind behind this idea?

posted in INFJ - 15 replies

Where do you think Tribe is headed?

julz — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 06:36:00 GMT

There's been a lot of talk recently about whether or not Tribe.net will continue to operate. The only remaining engineer on the site, Darren, quit a few days ago because he was allegedly yelled at over email by the founder/CEO Mark Pincus. His resignation announcement was on twitter but has since been erased, I'm sure due to legalities.

I have a bad feeling. I've been on so many message board / social networking sites similar to Tribe that have failed, and it's been such a shame. Unless the site gets swallowed up by a larger company, I don't see how it can survive on the model it's been running on for so many years.

I've been here since this site was in beta in 2003. God I can't believe I've stuck through all of it, with all the server failures and down-time. I have to say over the past 6 months my usage has gone waaaaaaaaaay down. Even so, it's been such a valuable resource over the years, especially for alternative thinking and ways, that it would seriously blow if it all just went down the drain.

I've always thought that Tribe hasn't embraced its core users- hippies, burners, freaks, fags, alternative college kids, and outside-of-the box thinkers - because as we all know, those people aren't the "right" demographic. I found an interesting post by a woman who used to work for Tribe, on how to save it. I thought I'd pass it along. http://brainstorm.tribe.net/thread/995ab060-7327-49a4-9c72-95241485ea71#30c23ff5-f622-4024-a4b0-01ecba0bdc3e

I know a lot of people in this tribe are new to the site so I probably sound like a rambling idiot, but to those that have been here awhile...perhaps we can discuss?

There's also another site http://triberefugees.ning.com to network in case Tribe does go down. If you'd like to keep your contacts, I suggest that site.

Julie

posted in INFJ - 4 replies

ST's

Nettle_Fivespice — Fri, 09 May 2008 02:22:14 GMT

I recently read a blog post of a self-identified "extrovert" venting about introverted types.
Being a INFJ with a very strong I and J (about 90% on the Meyers Briggs long version), I find it hard to deal with ST types, particularly T (thinking types).
Would other INF's care to share their thoughts about ST's?

posted in INFJ - 5 replies

Trouble with Ps, especially FPs?

Rachel — Mon, 19 May 2008 23:51:18 GMT

Does anyone else find themselves maddened by some of the P tendencies such as holding out for many different options before making a decision? I am struggling with this...I admire their laid-back style and try to bring some of that into my high-anxiety life, but I can't seem to see decision-making through "P eyes." What's the perceived benefit in keeping multiple options open and delaying decisions? I read something about needing to make the decision with "all available information", but how can you ever have ALL the information...and if you do, hasn't the time to decide probably passed?

I'm not criticizing other personality types. I genuinely want to know how these things look through P perspective (we are probably viewed as pushy), or if any of you other INFJs have similar experiences/insights to share.

I will cross post this question.

posted in INFJ - 13 replies

Has anyone read "Mating in Captivity - Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic"?

breathe!! — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:04:12 GMT

I think this book was brilliant. I liked how it examined the importance of space - physical and psychic - between people. as an INFJ, this makes so much sense to me. i love the idea of someone NOT trying to fence me in.
Any comments from people who have read this book? I'd be interested discussing the idea of committment/intimacy and space - ie maybe an unconventional relationship that does not involve living together or daily contact.

posted in INFJ - 0 replies

Depth/closure-- relationships

denmarkguy — Wed, 03 Aug 2005 14:38:25 GMT

We've had some recent discussions on the idea of wanting "closure" and of finding "true answers" before feeling like we can move on. It also seems that INFJs expect a great deal of emotional depth from others, especially in relationship situations. Perhaps not surprising-- I remember reading somewhere online that INFJs are the single MOST "self disclosing" of all MB types.

Now I am wondering if any/all of these things have been a source of frustration in your relationships? Or even have been the cause of relationship failures?

I know I have experienced many moments of frustration, when someone's basic "we need to talk!" has turned about-face and become "I can't talk about that!" once we scratch below the surface of the Truth. I know I have been left feeling empty when someone claiming to want a "deep" level of intimacy has started running for the hills, long before getting to my impression of what constitutes "deep." I want to be "with" people on a very deep soul/essence level.... yet 99% of the world finds that "invasive" and "uncomfortable," EVEN IF they claim otherwise. I want to be with someone's REAL truth (good or bad) not the "socially acceptable" truth they wear as a mask. I'm really OK with someone's fears and phobias, as long as they come from an authentic place. But it feels like people are often "hiding," and there's this strange incongruence/dissonance, because I seem able to "intuit" what's *really* going on inside them... but they "can't go there." And then I feel "disconnected."

Maybe it's not an "INFJ thing," at all-- maybe it's a "me" thing. I'm also an enneagram Nine, and we have a root desire to "merge" with those close to us.

Just curious, though.
--Peter

posted in INFJ - 38 replies